I’ll admit this is probably becoming less of an issue now that gender roles are being questioned, but I know there are some men who still refuse to cook. My father is one of them, he will microwave pre prepared food, or put cold cuts on a sandwich. But he absolutely CANNOT cook besides that. He will eat a bag of chips for dinner before making anything himself.
I know a lot of men (especially men over 40) have this mindset that it’s their woman’s job to do the cooking for them and I just wonder why? Did you not cook for yourself when you were younger? I feel as though a lot of men went right from their mothers cooking for them to their wives cooking and don’t give it a second thought.
I’ll add that I am a straight man, so this isn’t a post written by a woman being bitter about having to do all the cooking. I genuinely enjoy making my own food and I’ll admit I look down on people who can’t even do the basics or refuse to learn. So this is more out of curiosity for me to find out if there maybe other reasons I haven’t thought of, instead of attributing it to laziness or incompetence out of my preconceived view of it
23 comments
No idea. I cook 98% of the time
Its hard to get into with no guidance or previous experience. Its one of those skills where you need someone to show you the basics, and then learning the rest on your own in easy.
I guess because they’re fucking useless?
I cook, bake, bbq, grow peppers, lacto-ferment my own cabbage, carrots, tomatoes, salsa, etc. I don’t cook for women anymore because they can’t cook. When you have a woman over you want her to be in a good mood; and out classing her is a no-no. Take and bake pizza, or delivery and wine gets it done. This was not the case 15 years ago.
I didnt enjoy the waiting part. Plus my wife is not very supportive or appreciative of the foods that i enjoy cooking for the family. So i dont bother anymore when shes around. Its just rude when someone is very critical of a free meal.
It’s not about gender roles IMO
It’s about being hapless and inept …or not.
I mean a guy who can’t friggin feed himself anything other than what a toddler could put together? That’s fukkin sad
Can you read? Then you can cook! No excuse
I don’t refuse to cook. But I order in a lot. The places around me make good food and its faster.
Because I don’t eat food that requires cooking.
I suspect it depends on a feeling of a distribution of labor?
I don’t really know though, in all of my couple friend the guy does at least 75% of the cooking. Generally closer to 90%. In my case 99%
Sounds like laziness or depression.
Most days I just dont feel like its worth my time. This is probably a seperate thing. But unless if its super easy or I’m craving it I just don’t have motivation to bother. I wouldn’t make someone else do it for me because then I’d feel bad.
Probably not an overall reason for the majority of guys though, just a portion. I do enjoy cooking a lot though when I’m motivated
I refuse to cook, I am 40m and cook really well when I do. I refuse solely based on equality if I cook you can clean up but this isn’t the case in my current relationship. If she cooks I clean up and that is most days.
I refuse to cook and so does my wife. We pay a lady to do it and that was the best decision we ever made
I like to cook, but cooking every day for me alone is not efficient and also not that cheap. Some days it just makes more sense to grab some takeaway and use the time for something else
Thank You everyone!
I know the thread is about sharing the cooking duties but gender roles are the cause of this rampart inequality right?
After reading all the comments I’ve realised that in 15 yrs, yes that’s right 15yrs, my gf has never cleaned the gutters! NEVER! WTF! That’s terrible right?
I’ll get onto that immediately.
Please, how many ‘extra’ times a week should I cook to balance those two things out?
I don’t cook 99% of the time. I absolutely hate it. I can boil pasta or throw chicken fingers and fries in the oven but anything with prep, no. I cannot stand raw food/meat – chicken especially. Throw frozen hamburgers on the grill? I guess, and steaks sure with tongs.
I also think it has to do with shitty multi-tasking. I can do one thing and focus on it, but doing main/sides/sauces – everything would burn.
I am 22. I really don’t like cooking that’s all. I hate the feel of vegetables, oils and stuff so I am not comfortable touching them. Max I can do is bread with nutella and noodles (ones with only thing I need to do is put hot water in them). This can’t be an excuse tho, eating is essential and I have to provide for myself, I guess I’m just lazy for it.
It is not that I refuse, it is more that I am rubbish at it.
We all have things we are good at and things we are not so good at. For me the failings include languages, playing a musical instrument, painting and drawing. On the other hand I can build a house, strip down and rebuild a car or motorcycle, design and build IC’s, write and debug code, design and build electronic circuits and systems.
Over 20 people have tried to show me how to cook, and they all agree I can follow a set of instructions but the outcome is never any good. Heck my late wife used to watch me and despite being a qualified chef herself could never figure out what I was doing wrong.
That said people tell me I make good sandwiches.
Because I said so woman, now get back in the kitchen! 😂
Just like some females refuse to suck.
50+. a great cook. keep a clean house and I take care of my kids. truest test was when kids were 5 & 2 and wife had to go back to her parents for 3 months. cleaning was actually easier with her absence, every meal was home cooked and well balanced and I was able to work from home. later my boys played rep hockey for 7 yrs and I did all the practices and games.
as far as I’m concerned the man you describe would be a lazy slob in an early grave if he’s not able to wife a wife that mother’s him. typical momma’s man child.
I hope I’ve been a good example to my boys and they’ll also be the farthest from. so far they’re much better than I. there both can cook and they clean up after their meals. tons of sports and they both have been playing instruments for years. admit one could pick up a bit academically, working with him on that. both passed their auditions for acceptance in a competitive high school that ranks top 5 in the province.
My ex husband refused to do anything but throw the meat on the grill. I had to do all the prep work, sides, seasonings etc. and all the cooking. I have no clue why he refused to cook a damned thing.
But my husband now? He loves to cook as much as I hate it, we have a great routine, he cooks until he wants a break from it, and then it’s my turn, so either I cook or I treat him to dinner. <3 even I think his Fire Fighters are getting spoiled by this when he’s on shift. Because him or I either cook.
I never took the time to learn how to cook well. I am an engineering type that gets lost in random problems and forgets to eat a lot. So I end up extremely hungry and not wanting to take the time to “cook” anything so I order take out or make quick simple things. So I can get back to whatever intellectual puzzle I was trying to solve.
I don’t think it’s man’s or woman’s work. I just focus my mind elsewhere, and I make enough money to afford to feed myself in other ways. For me this isn’t about gender roles.
I really don’t understand where people get the idea that cooking has gender roles from. Most chefs are male. The cooking industry is overwhelmingly male dominated. In my personal experience, I have never seen a women use a BBQ. Depends how you grew up in my opinion. Some men were very busy with sports, school, and commuting that everything was cooked for them. Others had busy parents and were home alone after school and explored cooking.