Sorry if the formatting is weird, I’m on my phone. Also english isn’t my first language.
So I (f22) have been seeing this guy (m22) for a couple of weeks now. We get along really well, have the same sense on humour and our future plans align. The only problem that I have is that I’m not really attracted to him. I have never told him this and never will because why would I?
The question that I have been struggling with is should I just stop seeing him now considering I’m not attracted to his appearence, but only to his personality. Or should I keep seeing him?
7 comments
It’s only been a couple weeks, I think you can find a nice way of telling him that you just don’t feel that physical spark. In my dating history I have met a couple of guys that I really enjoyed talking to and spending time with, we had similar senses of humor, life goals and interests, but that physical spark just wasn’t there. Since it’s still a new relationship, it’s better to end it with him now than to drag it on and hurt his feelings later. Physical attraction can sometimes grow by getting to know somebody better, but it is not common. You don’t need to say you’re not attracted to him, you can just say something like, “I really enjoy spending time with you but I’m just not feeling *that* spark.”
Why force yourself seeing him if you can’t imagine something more serious?
[deleted]
Date me instead
Look, don’t waste peoples time, simple.
When the question becomes the answer…
The longer you stay with him, the more you will eventually hurt him. It isn’t fair to lead him on and have him thinking you’re attracted to him like I presume he is to you.
Just because you’ve been seeing/dating him doesn’t mean you’re obligated to further anything with him. Do not force yourself to date him if you don’t feel attracted to him. It’ll cause resentment. Trying to kiss him or get sexual will most likely turn you off and make things worse. Lightly tell him you aren’t feeling a connection and wish him well. Next time you feel this way about someone don’t string them along for weekend. Because it sounds like you unintentionally are stringing him along. You’re not obligated to anyone being single.