(with the cashier girl, guy at the bus stop, etc.)
Other than major topics, I generally don’t read the news and keep up with local events because, well, it’s boring. Idc about gas prices, the fact that there’s been another shooting, or that they put up a new stop sign at First & Main.
I’m an ideas guy and like exploring concepts so I like political science, philosophy, and psychology. Also STEM stuff.
On the other hand, I’ve heard that it’s all about mindset. If you’re in the right place mentally, you can always keep a conversation going indefinitely with anyone.
Do any of you feel like you have nothing in common with others, and yet, can carry on conversations? How do I start?
6 comments
you don’t need to have anything in common, you can ask the most random question and have a chance to strike up a conversation.
some people won’t be in the mood to talk so if they are dry then don’t take it personally, it’s more on them.
with strangers I try to keep conversations short and sweet, because I don’t wanna force them to continue it but if they keep talking then I am happy to as well.
dont need anything in common. for some background i was an engineer in a laboratory setting and all my friends were just normal laboratory techs in their undergrad
You don’t need a topic, you need curiosity. People love talking about themselves and their interests.
Make a statement about something you can both sense, something to can see, hear… and keep it short like five words. You get one of three responses: they look at you and say nothing, answer with 1 or 2 words, or respond with a sentence.
The one who doesn’t respond isn’t in a mood or mind to talk. Smile and look elsewhere today is not their day.
The two words is not into the conversation. You could take another shot following up but it’s a low chance you’ll get anywhere. Smile when your done and move on.
The long response is the start of the conversation. Listen to what they say, follow up with a short question about what they said. Keep it going by mixing statements and questions. TA DA.
Why a statement to open and not a question: less stressful on the listener. Questions force an obligation to answer. Think, “Did I hear you say STEM?’” Vs “it sounds like you’re in STEM”. The first I’ll be an ass if I don’t say something (I might even say something snarky to make you the ass for asking). The second let’s the person choose more responses. Remember to be respectful, an “excuse me” would go great with the STEM question. Also physical movements can count in your five.
Isn’t it hot?” vs
“It’s hotter than lava”.
“Arizona in July is cooler”
“Humidity sucks for me [shrug and points at hair”
“I bet a devil would complain [waving hand to cool]”
Scholarly people can launch into the science or philosophy of the statement. A not so deep thinker can just turn them around, “lava? That’s funny” or “yeah, you ever see lava?”
The five word hello is one of my best tools when I stand in a both at a convention. Educators love to have them so I’ve done a lot of five word chatter.
The one thing you have in common is that you are both in the same place! Day something about your surroundings then be interested in who you are talking to!! Ezpz dude
I feel most humans have about 90 percent in common. We all have the same bodily issues/functions. We all need food, shelter, clothing, companionship. We all worry about succeeding, being accepted, having fun. Many of us have families or hope to have families of our own.
Specifics are just specifics, and you don’t need to have those in common in order to connect. For example, do accountants only become friends with other accountants? NO. It isn’t necessary.
Great conversations are about showing some passion/enthusiasm for: yourself, the other person, LIFE ITSELF. While talking be sure to LINK to what the other person is saying with a relevant comment, question or insight of your own.
Save up thoughts, incidents, things you notice during your day that are: interesting, unusual, heart-warming, crazy, frustrating, whatever, to share as conversational tidbits. Write them down and review it occasionally if you forget.
That’s how to get started.