Hi Reddit, this is my first post so bear with me.
I had a conversation with my mom the other day and she brought up that she hasn’t followed my current partner (we’ve been dating for about a year) because she is still following my ex on social media. I think it’s important to note that the relationship with my ex was very unhealthy and emotionally abusive, to which my family knows of. To give you an example, my ex would regularly contact me for months after we broke up to try and control how I lived my life. It got to the point where she got in the way of a job opportunity of mine and almost jeopardized the entire thing. I even had to unfollow mutual friends because she was keeping tabs on me and would contact me if she didn’t like something or saw signs that I was moving on.
Anyways, I’m currently in a relationship (dating for about a year) with someone Im completely in love with and see it going the distance. But, I found out through my mom that she hasn’t followed her on social media for said reasons above. This struck me as very alarming and made me feel that my mom isn’t over my ex and doesn’t want to recognize everything that has happened. It also concerns me because it’s another opportunity for my ex to interfere and keep tabs on my life, to which I have expressed.
Im by no means trying to control who my mom follows on her social media, but has anyone else been in this position? If so, how do did you make it clear to your parents to move on? I also wouldn’t want this to interfere with my current relationship.
Thank you!
5 comments
Easy, tell your mom that if she causes any unfair issues with your new girl that you drop her from your life. Can’t control what people do but you can control who you have in your life.
Questions:
1. Why is it so important for your mom to follow your partner on social media?
2. Have you blocked your ex on social media?
3. Does your mom even regularly post on social media?
It is unimportant whom your mother follows or doesn’t follow on social media. You have a good relationship, and that’s all that matters.
If you don’t want your ex to track you, tell your mother politely but firmly that you will block her on social media unless she blocks your ex. Make it clear you are doing so for your own happiness and sanity.
I’d be petty and unfollow my mom on Facebook if she was gonna be that disrespectful. That’s ridiculous on her part.
I’d suggest talking with your mom in detail about her following your ex/ how she feels about your ex AND about how she feels about your current partner.
I’d suggest you really listen and not react until your mother has shared her opinions fully. You want to know what she thinks in detail so you can respond.
If your mom.wont open up, I’d suggest being patient. I don’t think, based on the little bit you shared, that your mom will really interfere with your relationship with your current partner. Plus, if you and your current partner stay together, marry, and have kids, your mom will eventually block your ex along the way. Well, if she didn’t, thar would be pretty bizzare.