Fellas How do you tell your wife or Girlfriend, things you dont like about her ?

34 comments

1. I think this is at least the third one on weight today.

   If you think she’ll take it well then tell her. If you deliver it tactfully some women can handle it.

   If you don’t think she’ll handle it well then you need to decide if its a problem for you or not. If it is I’ve generally just left in that situation (talking gf’s here not marriages).

   In my case this usually comes up after transitioning from dating to a relationship if I notice her weight suddenly starts ramping up which is usually a sign she trimmed down to date with no intention of maintaining it.

2. Right after she falls a sleep.

3. Literally had this conversation with my wife around 6-8 weeks ago…

   Me: hey, that’s your third plate.

   Her: *angry faced* you saying something about my eating?

   Me: oh you’re preggo.

   We’re now expecting twins in January.

4. Like what, she’s messy and leaves stuff everywhere? Constantly try to openly communicate, talk about the impact and suggestions on ways not to “forget” to pick up before going to the next thing. Can’t say there is much about my wife I don’t like, probably why I married her.

5. Tried it all, nothing ever worked.

6. Wait till she is asleep, go outside , sit in the truck. Whisper what you want to say.
   As she will never let it go if she hears it.

7. You don’t.

8. My girlfriend told me that she doesn’t take anything I say about her clothes and make up seriously because I never said she looks bad.

   So I looked in her closet and found that she only has one orange dress, so I told her I don’t like her in orange and now she kinda believe me.

9. Write it in a letter.

10. Never. You can be happy or you can be right.

11. You don’t.

12. Typically from behind reinforced ballistic glass.

13. It goes a LOT better if you don’t live with her.

14. In your petty will

15. Use a note in a tme capsule or a deranged Carrier pigeon. Then run like hell

16. Say something nice

    Tell her your truth (if it really *has to be* said)

    Say something nice

    That’s the bad news sandwich which might help things be more digestible

    (Might)

17. But did you die?

18. Look at the annoying things about yourself and consider how you’d like it brought up.

19. After being with her for 30 years, and wanting to be with her for a lot more, I just don’t. Learn to pick your battles….

20. Power point presentation

21. I always use the sandwich method if it’s not something that is too egregious. Start with saying something nice, then tell her about the issue you’re having, then close it out with something nice.

    It’s a great way to make feedback more palatable, whether it be in dating, work, etc.

22. Why the fuck would you tell your s.o the things you don’t like about her? If you feel like she’s doing something to cross the boundaries of the relationship then you should sit down and have an honest open talk with her.

23. What’s your reason for wanting to tell her these things?

    If it’s because you want her to change for you and you don’t accept her for exactly who she is, then let her go. You don’t deserve her, and she’ll be better off without you.

    If she told you things that she didn’t like about you, would you change those things for her?

24. Lots of jokes in here. Good taste, bad taste, whatever. Treat women like adults. They have emotional range, including being hurt. They can also take criticism.

    The real answer is that, as long as the concern is for a fundamental, underlying issue (eg. her health is suffering, she is not presenting herself the way she wants to be perceived, etc), you should be able to address it honestly, but gently. If you’re talking to her about her gaining weight, trust me, *she already knows*. Be nice about it.

    If it’s about clothes, if she’s wearing stuff that’s unprofessional to the office, or her clothes are falling apart, yeah, maybe mention it to her. But if it’s something where you just don’t like her style or something, tough luck buddy, that’s your problem.

25. Honest question, but are you a fucking idiot?

26. How does she do the same to you?

    Start from there & try to leave out the parts that bother you most.

    Or just do it they way you would want it done for yourself & at least she knows what that is from now on.

    Step one: order a pizza

    step two: start fight

    step three: take break from fight to eat pizza & hopefully talk about the issue reasonably.

    People are always at their worst when they are hungry.

27. It depends. Is she overly sensitive? Can she take constructive criticism? Are you emotionally intelligent enough to deliver your message directly without sounding like a jackass?

    Every woman is different but if it were me, I would want my man to tell me straight up what he doesn’t like so I can fix the problem. I don’t do well with beating around the bush or holding in feelings.

28. Quarterly performance review

29. This reads as if you really just want to ask how to tell your wife/gf she is getting fat and you are becoming less attracted to her and don’t know how to say it without sounding shallow.

30. Alot of these answers are quite depressing.

31. I just learn to live with the things i dont like, the same way she does with me.
    The good out weighs the bad massively and i wouldn’t change her for the world.

32. Depends on both of your flow of things for sure..

    You fell in love with her in the first place for some reason, but if her appearance has gone well.. down hill for let’s say medical reasons.. or a physical disability preventing her from taking care of herself the way she used to… if you love her you’ll help her get back to her usual once things get better.. – the answer here is Patience.

    If she’s become rather sizable… -realistically covid has done a number on majority of us on the scale here. Let’s be honest… – the answer here is “not my usual self” and needing to get back into previous normal routines.

    Y’all will bounce back once you get back to your usual and some time.

    If she complains about x clothing isn’t fitting like it used to…. like she’s become really sizable..or considerably “fat” ….she’s still the girl you fell for.

    If she’s self deprecating/struggling with this current bigger body than she’s accustomed to/has envy over other imagery of women that aren’t her… the answer is – don’t expect something to just be handed to you, if you want her to be better, improve herself maybe even yourself try encouraging better dietary habits at home, encouraging walks, some sports with them alongside…

    Unless she’s a shitty person, really not who she used to be deep down like the way you met her… its not worth beating a dead horse of a relationship.

    If she’s good to you, you should be good to her.
    If you really love her deep down but improvements could be made stand by her and with her.

    If she sees balance, the care and patience you’ve given her… when you’re down on the ground, not doing so well… she would be likely to take care of you too considerably.

    Conclusion? Relationships are a two way street.
    To make ends meet you need to work for it.

    You can’t just yell at a tarnished metal to sparkle n shine without putting effort into it. Encouragement plays a decent role.

33. My better half loves mustard coloured stuff. I don’t know, I personally think it is a hideous colour and it belongs in sandwiches only. It’s isn’t ‘bold’ or whatever fashionistas are calling it.

    But, it makes her happy, she feels confident in the colour and she enjoys wearing it. So I learned to shut up and deal with it, as it doesn’t majorly affect me in a serious way.

    The one time I put my foot down a bit was when she was modelling a bra and knickers set. As a pasty white woman, it looked like she was smeared mustard on her tits and shat herself, and I told her as much, in exactly those words. She respected the honesty, agreed, and we laughed and moved on.

    Essentially – pick your battles. Don’t sweat the small stuff, and have honest conversations about the things that really irk you.

34. I was dating my partner for 3 years and put on 30lbs of noticeable weight. He never said a word about it, instead he modified our behavior. He started cooking healthy dinners, we only did active dates (cycling, paddleboarding, tennis, etc.), and he meal prepped for us.

    In approximately 3 months, I weighed less than I had when I first met him and could see muscle definition.

    I thanked him for helping me get my health back again but I also thanked him for never shaming me about who I was when I wasn’t healthy.