I am 22F, my issue is that I never had a serious long term relationship. I had three relationships in total and I invested a lot in them (last one was an asshole by the way), but they either began to be casual or dumped me for someone else..
I am still willing to find someone but most guys only want casual with me, I tried dating unattractive men as well but they do not seem to be into me either. Any advise please? Am I dating wrong people?
14 comments
Its either something you’re doing or the guys you are choosing to give your time to.
>I had three relationships in total and I invested a lot in them (last one was an asshole by the way)
meaning what precisely
>I tried dating unattractive men as well but they do not seem to be into me either
lots to unpack here
What do you think was the reason the “unattractive” men didn’t seem into you? Could it have possibly been that they knew you were not attracted to them?
Don’t date unattractive man just because they might be more interested in you. You have to be physically into someone to make it work.
From this it sounds like you’re just dating whoever you can get. He’s an asshole? At least he wants to be with me! (Don’t know if you found out later, but this is the kind of stuff you should know about before you jump into a relationship. Ofc that isnt always possible).
Go for guys that you’re actually interested in. Don’t be too quick to turn it into a relationship. Date for a little longer and find out if you actually like them. Could you see a future with them or are they just nice for now?
> I tried dating unattractive men as well
how did you decide to date them then? did you just swipe right on everyone on the apps and decide to go on a date with the first person that repulsed you?
How many men have you dated in the last year? Might be just a lack of reasonable amount of men to find one where there is mutual attraction for a relationship
Well you’re still young… Do you put men on a pedestal? You said you invested a lot in them- are you getting anything back? Reciprocity. There’s nothing wrong with being a good gf to your partner but people like convenience. I’m not saying be an asshole but stop sacrificing yourself for nothing if that’s the case.
Try dating older men. My younger sister (18) will only date men over 20 because she says the guys her age are to immature . maybe its the same way for you. You could try dating guys a bit older, maybe 25, and see if you have better luck.
In your early 20’s not having a relationship longer than 5 months is fine. Lots of short relationships may indicate you’re trying lots of different ways of interacting with men and are learning what works for you and what doesn’t as well as learning what men want.
Assuming your behavior is appropriate, you’re most likely doing something right otherwise you wouldn’t be attracting so many men.
Lol only 22. Don’t worry rn. I’m 29 and my longest relationship was 3 months so at least you’re doing better than me
So you’re dating down in looks, and they say No we don’t want you?! This is a first, and I’m serious
Understand the difference between dating and marriage and then don’t do things that belong in marriage. The system will weed out the men who aren’t serious aka having standards. Ones who overcome your stands will have the highest chance of having long term partner /futher spouse. (It’s not easy) but it’s worth it if done properly.
I’d guess you’re making it too easy for them. Moving too fast, giving more than you receive, putting their happiness above yours possibly not enforcing your boundaries.
I am 24m and have never had a relationship you arnt the only one