What’s rule no.1 in the bar you’ve just opened?

7 comments

1. Free drinks for 38 + boob sizes

2. If you’re caught spiking you’re shot on sight.

3. 2nd most obnoxious drunk is responsible for the Uber for the most obnoxious drunk.

   Problem deals with itself.

4. Cheering for Alabama will get you ejected.

5. Bartenders intervene… violently if necessary. I almost got assaulted in a bar and the bartender did N.O.T.H.I.N.G.

6. There’s an “attendant” in each restroom. If your date’s giving you a problem, they’ll hook you up with a safe ride home, bounce your date, call 911, whatever needs to be done. They’re bouncers with first aid training.

   They will also cut down on drugs and sex in the bathrooms, because people gotta pee, but will not disturb the friendly oasis vibe of the ladies’ room.

7. If bartender is caught drinking, stealing or purposely overpouring, they’re done