I’m living at home currently, attending college nearby and I still mostly wear clothes that were bought by my parents.

I have had a girlfriend for a few years now but I’ve noticed I don’t really stand out to her in terms of how I dress or present myself.

I want to dress better for her as well as to look more confident in my own style.

I’ve always worn sort of comfy clothes and bright polyester clothes, not really utilizing layering or paying attention to colors.

I take a shower every afternoon after work, I wear deodorant, I cut my hair in a typical “long on top blended to shorter on all the sides” cut, but I don’t do any sort of skincare or makeup or “manscaping,” though I’m willing to start, and I only really shave when it gets annoying.

Question being, if I want to look more put together to others or if I want to appear more attractive to my girlfriend, how should I go about it?

Weirder version of the same question: How do I look hotter or more socially competent, starting from a place of no understanding of social norms in clothing or even grooming? How do you choose what to wear and how to take care of yourself in an attractive manner?

How often should I shave? What routines should I start? Where do I start in purchasing clothing that isn’t just comfy shit, and is it tacky to not have a consistent clothing style? What are common clothing mistakes that would stand out to others?

Thank you in advance!

As for the likely “ask your girlfriend what she wants to see you in,” she doesn’t really know (or she doesn’t want to tell me), so I’m definitely open to buying a few very different outfits to try out to see what she enjoys more!

Edit: Thought I’d add some of what I’ve tried. Recently I’ve realized I don’t really wear solid colors, so I’ve bought a lot of plain color t-shirts to wear on top of the tees (usually leaving them unbuttoned), though I don’t really know what to wear on top of them for layering during the summer. I have alright jackets and button downs during the fall and winter to wear, but nothing that looks super good during the summer.

My girlfriend loved it when I went on a date in jeans with a belt, a tight black undershirt and a light pink button down opened to see the undershirt, I just don’t know where to go from there.

8 comments

  1. This isn’t really integral to the post, but I’ve seen the sentiment saying “always keep dating your spouse” and realized I’m not putting as much effort into looking good as I should, so I want to start becoming more attractive and look like I’m putting in effort into looking good for her and myself.

  2. Well, you can dress for comfort AND looks.

    1) Find cuts of clothing that are both comfy and flattering. Do you find that you like being compressed or like the sleeker look? Slim fit shirts and pants are probably for you. You like more room? Classic fits are better. Usually something labeled “modern” is a balance between the two.

    2) Go into stores and feel the materials of things. Feel the textures and weights. An article of clothing can look fantastic, but if it’s made out of an annoying fabric, it’ll suck to wear. Find clothes you like, and see what they’re made of. That’ll guide you later.

    3) I know that “seasons” are really outdated in terms of finding colors that compliment, but seriously, make an appraisal of your natural coloration and look up what might go with that/ask someone, like your girlfriend, what colors she thinks looks good on you. Me, for example, I am very dark haired with light skin and am not a color person, so I tend to prefer neutrals and dark colors that give me contrast. My fiancé has the most gorgeous caramel skin and black hair, and pretty much any shade of blue pops on him.

    4) Tailoring. Seriously. People don’t take enough advantage out of tailoring. Get your shirts and jeans tailored. It’s an incredibly inexpensive way to seriously elevate your outfits, because they actually look like they were made for you. Ask a tailor about this, obviously, but a good piece of advice I received was to try on something in store, buy it in a size or two too big, and then have it tailored down.

    5) When it comes to layering, I like to think “complimentary and conservative,” meaning that the things you’re layering go together style-wise and color wise and you’re not layering a ton of things on top of each other just to layer. Your jacket and pants don’t necessarily have to match, but they should at least look like they belong together, and unless it’s effin freezing out, a shirt under a sweater under a jacket under a scarf is probably too much, and looking cool isn’t worth the sweat.

    6) Start paying attention to what other men are wearing, see what you like. Look at magazines, on TV, in movies. There may be a particular aesthetic you’re drawn to, and that’s a fantastic place to start.

    8) Not every fashion trend is going to be for you, and that is 100% okay. If the most popular thing looks ridiculous to you and you think you look like an idiot wearing it, don’t do it. You’re entitled to have your own style, and you can take bits and pieces from different aesthetics and the mainstream to get it how you like it.

    Those are just a few things, I hope they’re helpful.

  3. Start with your body

    Practice good posture and work out exercises for flexibility, strength, and try and walk or bike for 20 45 minutes every other day for starts

    There are strengthening and stretching exercises you can 2 or 3 minutes here and there

    Read Esquire’s black book, Real Simple or other sources for good ideas on how to build a classic long term value wardrobe also look at the guys around you who have what you want

    Buy good shoes and wear a good watch educate yourself and save up if necessary

  5. Try out different things, like try 10 and keep 1, if you like that one, it gives you confidence, that’s what matters, you should be comfortable and happy about what you are wearing. It will help you to express your individuality rather than taking some random advice. Get to know basics, like colors, and fits that would help you. I used to hide away because of my choices, my close friends would make fun of me. I started living alone away from friends and could wear whatever I want, one day my old friend was visiting me. A friend would criticize me several times for my fashion sense, choice of sneakers, and all. That friend and I were walking out of the gym, and a random guy complimented on my shoes, and asked for my number, in front of that same friend, I could see I win a moment right in there.

    Just a bit off-topic, but I am trying to say, prioritize what you like.

  7. Everytime you go shopping buy stuff that go together try to buy a pants and a shirt or If I buy three tops I wanna buy three bottom that works together

  8. A piece of advice that helped me look up certain celebrities, models, actors, or just influencers that you like their aesthetic/what they wear. Look out for attire they go for (casual, streetwear, minimal, formal, etc), how they accessorize (wear jewelry that fits your undertone either silver or gold), figure out what scheme of colors you like more, certain silhouettes (looser fitting clothing or appropriately fitting).

    Keep good hygiene, taking care if your skin look good (sunscreen, cleanser, and moisturizer is all you need), wearing clothes that make you feel confident such as the color or your favorite t shirt design, trying on clothing can help.

    Confidence is key, find items that make you confident whether its a certain style, your favorite ring or shoes, haircut, and exercise could all bring your confidence!

Leave a Reply
You May Also Like