Me and my gf of 5 months have been having problems very recently with jealousy and similar things. I’ve seen her do things on social media that I have seen as inappropriate, but I have been made to believe that these situations have been subjective… anyways last week we got into a fight and almost split for good for something related to the social media problems. But we were able to figure this out and got back together. Today she told me she was going to hang out with one of her girl friends, because she moved into a new apartment. Somehow this turned into the two of them hanging out with her girl friends guy friend. Now the three of them drove to a near by town to hang out with this dudes cousin(another guy), and went to play soccer(the 2 guys are playing, my gf and her friend are just watching). She sent me a pic of the 4 of them. One guy is holding my gfs friends waist, the other guy is behind my gf fairly close to her. She also sent me a few videos of the soccer game. Not sure when she’s planning to leave. Honestly, I’m not feeling good about this. Not sure what degree of jealousy is appropriate in this situation.
Side note: I help my gf financially from time to time, she works but makes very little money.
Other side note: her girl friend is single, and at least some degree promiscuous. As described by my gf.
Other side note: we have some set boundaries already. One of them being, that I’m cool with her grabbing coffee or something similar with another guy friends. As of right now, I don’t know any of her guys friends well enough, so I told her I trust her to make the right decision in a situation like that. But when we are back to living together in person, that rule would change to only guy friends I know and trust. Just so you guys know what level of trust/freedom in this relationship in 100 percent cool with.
TL;DR: been having trust issues with my gf, that we are both aware of. Almost ended relationship for good recently because of this. Now she’s hanging out night with her single girl friends and 2 guys. How upset/jealous should I be?
4 comments
Nothing you describe in her behavior is *remotely* suspicious.
In fact, honestly, you sound … not in a great place, that you would even describe all that like you thought it was problematic. She’s out there living her life and doing stuff and yes, “stuff” sometimes involves social activities that involve guys.
If you can’t handle that, I’m not sure you should be in a long-distance relationship.
UPDATE:
around 1130 she said she’s at another house drinking with a bunch of friends, and she’s staying at her girlfriends house. As of now she’s only sent me pics of the 4 of them. I asked her to send me a picture of everyone else at the party, or a video, or to just video call me. I say im sorry if she sees this as me being jealous or not trusting her. She sent me a pic of 10 arms in a circle doing a shot, no faces, and none of the clothes matches hers or her friends. I apologize again, ask her for another, state why i think is weird/not enough. She says I’m always jealous. Says no more pics. Won’t call me. Feel like throwing up. Feel like I don’t even need to ask.
Check OP’s comments.
*”I love a gal with no self esteem… Being serious. I really don’t see the appeal of a women with a lot of confidence. She thinks she’s special and beautiful and intelligent and all that, why is that such a great personality trait? If she thinks she’s so great, she probably thinks she can do better than you, right? A girl who doesn’t think so highly of herself probably wonders everyday how lucky she is to have someone like you in her life, and will probably try harder not to fuck it up. And I think this applies to men as well. Most guys who cheat are the cocky full of themselves confident tools.”*
5 months is far too long for any woman to waste with someone like this 😂
Update:
She lied to me. The pic she sent me was just an old pic that the friend she was hanging out with took at some other party a long time ago.
She also cheated.
So all of you who said I’m being paranoid, you’re dumb.