What characterises the transition from being familiar and knowing someone to *really* knowing them as a person: their traits and characteristics, flaws, ambitions, past, and so on. What things should you know, or what experiences must you have with another person to really know them and create intimacy?
3 comments
For me, giving the other person space to speak without an expectation of your response. Like- I’ve had conversations that are personal questions but as soon as you respond they go ‘oh yeah that’s how I felt when I-…’ and they’re off speaking about themselves. Proper intimate conversation is letting them other person speak and giving them space to breathe and let the awkward parts hang in the air.
Go to the pub and get drunk together
How do they treat shop assistants, waiters, cleaners?
How do they behave just relaxing in a park or on the beach?
Will they go supermarket shopping?
Do they talk about past partners?
Do they talk about family, childhoods, school experiences?
How do they behave if you disagree about something?
Ask questions.Say that you see in the news that xyz has happened, how do they feel about that?
Big thing: what is their attitude towards animals.Its ok to dislike animals but anyone who wants to hurt one, run quickly.
Ask if they ever did xyz
Ask what their favourite xyz is
Ask what they dislike food/films/holidays
Ask them to tell you about their schooldays/their family/their work