Context this was two days ago. My gf (F18) was talking to me (M20) about her taking an extra shift and trying to make conversation with me at work. She then asked me how I was doing and all I said was “I’m good” then said I had to go finish cleaning something. That was the first time I just had nothing to say, I just couldn’t think of anything.
Few mins later she came to find me and calmly asked me if we were good. I told her yeah and she said it’s because I haven’t texted her in a couple days and she thought I was mad and she felt lonely, she looked a little worried. I told her I didn’t mean to and it’s because I know she likes her space that I just didn’t text her. Later on I told her that I needed to talk to her. She said are you sure were good? And I told her that I feel like sometimes she doesn’t want to be with me. She told me that it’s hard to let people in because so many people come and go in her life and even though she’s used to it it still hurts. Didn’t really address what I said.
I get what she’s saying but if she feels like that then why does she always want so much space from me? It’s contradictory, She doesn’t like to go on a date more than once a month and doesn’t make me feel like she actually wants to be with me. Physically she’s not even ready to kiss me yet. she likes to keep me at a distance, but gets worried whenever I don’t act like myself and always assumes I’m mad at her. This has been a thing the whole relationship. Idk if it’s because of her abandonment issues, anxiety, OCD, panic attacks, etc but she’s always loved her alone time and independence. I know that she cares about me but she never shows it, only thing is that she always remembers important thing I tell her. We’ve been together official 2 months but were dating for 5 months prior.
Maybe I’m just in my head because she honestly didn’t see a problem in the relationship and I did. I just feel really drained recently thinking about all this.
TLDR; I told my gf that I felt that she didn’t want to be with me and she basically feels the opposite I guess.
1 comment
You did well by starting the conversation. But you didn’t finish it or really even get the conversation running very far.
Try again. Talk with her and listen to her. Ask your questions calmly and without rancor. This is the important part in relationships, learning to have real talks.