Using a throwaway account because some people I know know my real account.
I’m 21m and my girlfriend is 19f. She doesn’t like the fact that I watch porn to masturbate to, especially because I have videos of the two of us and it makes her insecure. I understand all that (or at least I try my best to) and I want to do better. Every time I do it I do feel guilty, and we’ve had multiple discussions about this. I promised to stop and I was doing good for a few weeks but I did it again and told her about it for the sake of honesty and it made her really upset. I don’t want to ruin my relationship but it’s hard. I’ve had a habit of doing it for almost 10 years of my life. I want to respect her wishes and her feelings but it’s hard. What can I do to help stop? I’ve been a pretty shitty partner and I want to do better.
EDIT: For added context, we’ve been together for over a year and live together.
11 comments
I ended it with the girl I was with that was like that and am with one now that does not care. We actually watch porn together sometimes.
Nothing hotter than going down on a gal while she scrolls her phone watching porn.
We have been together over 10 years.
Maybe it’s not you that has to change, maybe it’s the relationship that needs changing.
You can also seek professional help and counseling.
Slippery slope when people start wanting to control what you do on your own. I’m not big on romantic relationships, but in my experience if someone tells you that what you do in your own private me time is not okay then that’s none of their business.
But if you are looking for direct help in stopping watching porn alltogether, I highly recommend getting more in tune with your imagination. The creativity of your brain can be far better than porn. Close your eyes and imagine what you could or would do to your girlfriend were she with you. Work off of that.
You should be able to freely watch porn man.
If you want to stop watching porn for YOU, then I suggest replacing the habit with something healthy like exercise. If she doesn’t like you masterbating to porn of HER, she isn’t the one for you bro. Porn addiction is a problem. It doesn’t sound like you are there yet. Change because you want to. Don’t change because of her insecurities.
Anyone that insecure needs to do a lot of maturing around sex. Porn is not inherently bad. It doesn’t mean you don’t love or want sex with her. Unless you are experiencing signs of addiction or ED from the porn, I would spend my time focusing on her need to control your body and free time.
Man lol lots of confused young relationships on this sub today.
If this is real (because I take every post with a grain of salt and because you said y’all live together which I just can’t fathom a 21 and 19 year old living together outside of creative wring due to my own ignorance) my first piece of advice would be to stop seriously committing so fast and so early
A year is a long time but not for a young couple like yourselves to move in together, So many people are seemingly making drastic relationship commitments without even barely knowing themselves as adults. OP, i don’t know you personally so thats all just assumption, but yeah.
Now because of that you’re in a living situation where your partner has you wanting to seek professional help for doing something as normal as masturbating. It upsets her because you watch porn when you do it.
Separately masturbating is an element in almost every healthy relationship. The porn is optional but as long as you don’t have an addiction that impact their sex lives, their partner shouldn’t be controlling what they do nor what they do it to.
Use your imagination for masturbating, you don’t need porn.
I suggest you just don’t watch porn that’s bad for your sex life. Then your girlfriend shouldn’t mind. Don’t watch porn that’s demeaning for women – having them treated like objects. Watching porn where women have orgasms is one label that often shows sex that’s good for everyone. And find porn with women with realistic bodies, so your libido doesn’t get tuned to the bodies of professional who make a living by staying fit.
Don’t masturbate with a death grip – if you’re gripping a lot tighter than a pussy can, it can give you trouble having orgasms with a real partner.
Other than that, masturbating and watching porn tend to raise libido, so your GF should be happy.
And maybe most of all, make sure your GF is enjoying sex. Try to understand her perspective on it. Read how to please women, and ask her gently what she likes and doesn’t like. Be kind to her even when it’s hard, and she’ll be kind to you.
Could have more sex, foreplay and anal… I mean I hardly masterbate when the rest is in abundance… even ask for a spank book of selfies…(shutterfly) or to sext u when u have a urge too…
I’m on your gfs side here- I would never want to control my partner but saying that I wouldn’t mind him watching videos of other women naked and being fucked would just be straight up lying. I may be insecure, but those are boundaries you two need to set in your relationship. If it’s over the line for her, then you should probably respect that or it’s not the relationship for you
Solo flights are healthy imo. My SO and I have ground rules though.
1. Don’t wank in bed while the other is sleeping.
2. Make sure masturbating doesn’t get in the way of sex.
3. Erase browser history on shared devices, because sometimes seeing what a partner is into at any given time can cause insecurities. Ridiculous Example: if I find hentai porn and I feel gross that day, I might wonder if I’m not their type because I’m not cartoonishly shaped. Or if I were to find pirate porn I might be worried about not meeting all their needs and try to role play only to freak us both out in bed ( which honestly would be hilarious but humiliating)