Would you stop consuming soft porn/sensual content on social media if you partner was unconfortable w/ it? Why/why not?

30 comments

  3. To the guys saying no and calling the woman insecure:

    First of all, there is a difference between watching porn when it’s time to masturbate, and what this post is asking. Most women are totally fine with porn as a visual stimulation for your private time. Porn is only a problem when it’s consumed excessively. It’s been proven many times that excessive porn consumption rots both your brain and your relationship.

    Now what do you think looking at half naked women every time you open your phone is? You think it’s normal to gawk at ass and titties multiple times throughout your day? Or is it perhaps excessive? Chances are your girlfriend isn’t mad that you find other women sexually gratifying, she’s mad that you’re seeking that gratification every fucking hour, even when she’s right there. No shit that’s going to make her feel bad!

    It also says a lot about how you view women. I’d prefer my partner sees me and my fellow ladies as human beings, and not sexy things to stare at all day. There’s no need to constantly view women sexually. And believe it or not, you men are human beings too. You are not animals. You are perfectly capable of self control and not needing to be sexually stimulated at all times.

    And instead of examining your own behavior and habits, and how it makes your partner feel, you blame it on her being insecure and controlling. What a cop out.

  4. I haven’t felt the need to even watch it since i’ve dated my gf. She did tell me the other day she had been a bit and honestly I didn’t like it. I don’t think it’s cheating in anyway shape or form. It just kinda makes me feel like shit for some reason.

  5. What exactly qualifies as soft porn/sensual content?

    Is that like masturbating to bikini photos?

  6. I don’t do that anyways, but yeah absolutely. There’s not a ton of stuff I won’t do to make someone I’m that close with more comfortable

  7. I don’t consume such content anymore, but it depends why they are uncomfortable with it.

    Tbh, my Insta feed used to be full of models and now it’s just pictures of Iceland and Switzerland. I was honestly embarrassed of it and thought my GF would be jealous and so I unfollowed all of that. If I want porn I go to hardcore porn. This was my choice.

    If a partner asked me to stop doing something like this, I would probably stop. However, if they kept asking me to give up more and more things because they were just insecure or something, I would eventually grow to resent that. As always, relationships are about balance and compromise.

  8. I already don’t because I don’t like it. I know she would say something but she also likes that I’m not the kind of guy with a feed full of thirst traps. If she was concerned with something I do I would want first for her to be comfortable.

  9. I don’t really care for that stuff anyway. My Instagram feed is all art and natural landscape photos.

  11. Absolutely. My partner means more to me than my consumption of porn- if it makes them feel that way then I would have no issue dropping it

  12. Yeah tbh I don’t get guys who follow a bunch of hot influencers anyway. I just follow people I know or people who Create cool stuff / post cool
    Recipes.

  13. YES. Because it is a reasonable request and I want her to be happy with my conduct both around her and when I am alone.

  14. Good question, at all i think its not necessary to watch stuff like that just ‚,casual‘‘ when you are in a relationship. Bur in the end its about communication, for example i know that im allow to watch porn when my fiance doenst want to have sex sometimes, and she is allowed to and also does its sometimes when im at work for example. But if she says no to things like that i listen to her and she would listen to me too. Like said communication is everything.

  16. What’s even the point of that in the first place? Is this really something that guys do on a large scale, just thirst after random women posting bikini pics or whatever?

  18. Look, everyone’s relationship is different and it is a contract that those specific people need to agree on. That being said, without commenting on my personal feeling surrounding pornography or the use of pornography of any level as it pertains to a relationship…

    I urge you to put at least as much energy as you are putting into figuring out if you can/should ask your partner to abstain into asking yourself why it makes you insecure. Because in my view, that is the more important question and once you figure that out, the rest should hopefully work itself out. In addition, it will also create a scenario in which you are more confident holistically in your relationships

  20. Depends.

    Porn has been a part of my life since I was 11, although it has drastically changed in meaning over the years. Movies have so many hints and clues as well as outright taunts to our sexual hunger. Commercials did so aggressively there for a while too. Commercial about hamburgers? Here’s a super sexy woman bending over and eating a hamburger.

    Have a scene where a woman is working on her car? Let’s have her ass hang out of short shorts.

    Have a scene where a woman is walking into a room? Let’s place the camera under her ass do you can see her ass cheeks sway while she walks.

    Such items really get the hunger going at an early age. Stays with you. Grooms you.

    Anyhow, before having sex for the first time porn was imaginative. What it could be like. Ridiculous things you’d wonder if it’s possible. After having sex it’s more of a release. Something to trigger that dopamine and adrenaline as well as divert possibly unwise decisions because you’re pretty horny.

    When I was with my ex I didn’t feel a need to watch it. She was up there in sex drive, so there was multiple releases a day. Loved it. Freaky. When she was away I’d feel that hunger. I need to blast off before bed. Best sleep is post nut.

    If my partner said I can’t, I’d ask why? It would almost be equivalent of me asking her not to use a vibrator. If my porn watching got in between our sex I’d stop. If it’s something I do for my own release personally then I’d say I’m not.

  21. Female here throwing in my 2 cents… My bf following thirst trap accounts from his social media makes me very uncomfortable.

    Solely because it means that everytime he opens his phone, this is what will appear on his feed all day, everyday.

    i would much rather my bf watch normal porn anonymously whenever he needs to, not have soft core porn shoved in his face all day long, on lunch break, having breakfast etc. it’s too much and there’s a huge element of disrespect to your gf if she can see you following them on your public social profiles

  23. Probably not. Granted there have been right women in my life that I’m so infatuated with that I had no appetite for porn so my response would be… if he is watching porn, there’s a possibility that she’s not meeting his sexual needs.

    Granted there are people that are just addicted to it and it doesn’t matter.

  28. There has only been one instance that I watched, while in a relationship. It was after months of not getting any intimacy from my partner, at the time. It taught me a lot about myself. And so, to answer your question:

    Only if she was being intimate with me in return. It’s stupid to expect me to starve of intimacy, then her get uncomfortable with me going to an alternate (while still not cheating).
    If that’s still not good enough for her, then it’s a sure sign that it will not last, so might as well end it then.

  30. Yes, but I’d also want a real discussion as to why it made him uncomfortable and if we could work on that.

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