I (31 M) am living on my own and have for the last twelve years.
I suffer from Asperger’s, AD/HD & clinical depression, however I do take medication to help with these issues.
I want children, whereas my mother doesn’t want me to.
She claims that my future children will be mentally worse than I am.
Since I was 17, my mother has been constantly trying to convince me to get fixed so I can’t have them.
My father supports me more than my mother does.
The other day I was on a phone call with my mother, she brought it up again.
I haven’t been seeing anyone since my last partner passed due to the panorama.
Should I go no contact with my mom or not?
2 comments
Have contact so long as it’s helpful to you both. If it’s not helpful, go low contact. Set boundaries, like, no offering advice on having children.
Ummmm… maybe she is speaking the hard truth. Honestly it doesn’t sound like an ideal situation to bring a child into the world if you are suffering from clinical depression. I’m not sure the implications behind Asperger’s and ADHD but depression alone is enough to create a tough life for a child.
I know you want kids. Its honestly a selfish endeavor for anyone to want kids. You do it because YOU want them. Not the other way around. There’s no future child in the void calling out for someone to please give birth to them. Especially with a depressed mother that could cause pain and emotional issues for this future kid well into their own adulthood.
I’m sorry you’re going through this believe me. I’m empathetic. My partner is depressed and I have anxiety which is why I would never want another human to be burdened with our issues.
Please try to see where your mom is coming from. I know it hurts to hear but she may have some wisdom there.