what are the signs of a stable and mature girlfriend?

33 comments

1. don’t have a fragile ego

   understanding and has empathy

   treats everyone with respect

   positive demeanor

   doesn’t complain about everything under the sun

   helps you resolve problems instead of creating them for you

   basically not crazy , too many to list tbh , etc etc

2. she can stay single for over a year

3. She’s over 30 and doesn’t fall over easily?

4. Open and honest communication. That goes for guys too. The sign of a healthy and mature relationship is just that. Communication and honesty

5. Being able to compromise and being level headed in arguments. My wife and I can argue and not raise our voices.

6. [deleted]

7. it lasted for a while. willing to put up with me

8. Respecting your opinions and not emotionally irrational

9. She gets along with your friends, she lets you do your own thing some days, she doesn’t check your phone constantly, she pays for dinner or gets you things now and then.

   There’s plenty but these are some of the things I noticed in my wife compared to other exes I had before her.

10. Not in debt

    Isn’t stressed about “plans” for the weekend/summer/vacation. Basically can entertain herself without the need for 500 friends and social media validation .

    Speaks plainly…. Not in code, not dropping hints, not inferring shit.

    Open minded in bed with very few hang ups

11. Her ability to talk and resolve a conflict when stakes are high while making sure that she is not criticizing you in a bad manner like name-calling.

12. She agrees to compromise because no relationship can work without compromise between the parties. It is impossible that one party gets things done their way every time.

    One fight doesn’t mean that you should end the relationship. Sometimes people are wrong and you should tell them that instead of saying it’s a red flag and I am breaking up.

    She understands your wallet limit and does not financially abuse you.

13. She’s not exploiting herself for money

14. She doesn’t want to date you

15. When there is a hot girl out in public she will say woah check her out and encourage you to look instead of getting jealous and insecure about an attractive girl who just happens to cross your field of view

16. Comfortable in one’s own skin.

17. She gets along great with your wife?

18. 1. A real girlfriend doesn’t see you as a bank or slave. If some money or work needed, she is always ready to contribute.
    2. You can talk to her about your problems. She listens. Of course she expects the same.
    3. She doesn’t manipulate you or make you believe that you are always guilty.
    4. She knows what a relationship is, takes responsibility, expects the same.
    5. She doesn’t see you or herself as the center of the universe. If you don’t act responsibly, she doesn’t give a shit. As a result she dumps you.

    Ps: not a native speaker here, if there are errors on grammar or meaning, feel free to say.

    Edit: Grammar

19. Healthy sense of humour

20. – She doesn’t just use you for your money. A girl that is just using you will always demand going to a high end restaurant and get mad at you when you buy her an affordable gift instead of Chanel, Louis Vuitton, and Van Cleef & Arpels jewelry. A good girlfriend is happy just to be next to you even if you just cook a meal for her at your place or take her to restaurants that don’t break the bank.
    – She is sexually compatible with you. Your libido levels should be similar to each other unless you want trouble later on. There are some girls that want sex 2 times a day, some girls only once a month, some girls never want sex ever. So find a girl who has the same or similar sexual needs as you. A good girlfriend will let you have sex with her as many times as your heart desires(whether that be 2 times a day or no sex at all if you’re asexual). A girl that genuinely likes you will also give you more blowjobs than the average girl just using you for free dinners(given that both of you enjoy the activity – this does not apply if she hates giving blowjobs to anyone even if you were Chris Hemsworth or Christian Bale).
    – She actually listens to you and asks how YOU are doing rather than it just being all about her. You should feel like you can talk to her about almost anything. When you talk to her, you should be physically attracted to her but also feel like she could be one of your best if not the best friend you know.
    – She has a job and comes from a good family
    – She is healthy and has health insurance. Avoid girls that have unprotected sex with multiple guys at the same time they are dating you. You’ll get a STD before you can say the word chlamydia
    – She treats you with respect and dignity. There should be mutual attraction, mutual respect, and mutual love

21. Control of her life issues. And control of herself with life issues. Super annoying if a chick has nothing but problems and not positive stuff

22. She has her own money and a job

23. Uh

24. Doesn’t go on a rampage if you slip up a bit and then blames it on her hormones the next day

25. Most of these can be applied to both men and women:

    The first and foremost: open and honest dialogue; transparency. This is a key aspect that matters to all kinds of relationships.

    If you’ve set boundaries early on and they follow them, that’s a good sign. An example of this could be no browsing on phones during certain periods of the day – us time is us time. Boundaries go both ways as well – e.g. no cheating.

    Ego is in check – humility/humbleness. Willingness to admit mistakes and own up to them. Takes corrective actions to remediate mistakes.

    Expectations are clear – no mind reading. Goes back to having good communication skills.

    Shared responsibility. Not everything is on the onus of one party or the other. Realizes that people are imperfect. Division of labor/chores, if applicable.

    Neither party is put on a pedestal. Partners appreciate each others strengths and work together to resolve faults.

    Kindness and sociability: Are they kind? How so? Do they understand that you have friends and like to visit them/have them over from time to time?

    Attraction is still present and contributes to fostering the romantic/carnal aspects.

26. Since you got together with her, did your life get more chaotic and dramatic or did your life actually get a lot more mellow and chill?

27. She doesn’t need to be in your company 24/7. She has unproblematic friends who have their shit together and not a single one is the stereotypical hot mess, she doesn’t associate with people who are like this at all. Why? Because she knows that you get judged by the company you keep. She’s financially sound. She’s gone out of her way to boss her life up in career ways.
    She isn’t someone who “has no filter” (i.e. some dumb ass rude pos that can’t conduct themselves)

28. Doesn’t bring sex into the relationship too soon.. some people try to get their partners hooked on the regular supply of physical intimacy so that when the insecure stuff shows itself, we ignore it like it isn’t even a problem.. you only get dysfunctional codependent relationships with this. Don’t fall for it

    Everyone trying to cope with their insecurity by medicating it away through superficial means generally does this.. helps allow them to run away from processing trauma to their detriment and will try to make you responsible for the negative effects of their emotional neglect around it while refusing to admit any responsibility of their own.. love and intimacy gets degraded and made into something ugly when it’s transactional like this.. a practice of protecting and defending it from this is important

29. Passed the party phase.

30. I wouldn’t have known until I met my current gf. She places a huge important in communication. Doesn’t mean that you need to voice every single thing that bothers you, because that can be a complete turn off.

    But she will listen to what I have to say, she makes me feel like if something bothers me, I can talk about it.

    She also recognizes that sometimes one needs alone time, sometimes it’s ok to be angry. This helps both of us to enjoy our time together as well as our time separated.

    She is also a very grateful person, and that encourages me to give her as much as I can, because she doesn’t take things for granted.

    My ex wife would obstruct dialogue routinely. She would make me feel like what I feel is not valid, which resulted in me having to repress my feelings. Eventually the resentment grew so much that it could not be bottled up anymore. I feel like this could not happen with my gf.

31. If she doesn’t brag to you about how stable and independent she is, then she’s probably stable and independent

32. There really is only one, trust. Everything else is driven by trust.

    Lack of trust will lead to;

    Higher anxiety levels because they’re insecure

    Closer scrutiny and analysis of everything you do and say.

    Looking for, focusing on, failures.

    Trying to make you take more and more responsibility with daily routines forcing you to spend more time working for them, controlling your time.

    Trying to control money, so you have less autonomy.

    The list goes on and on but you get the idea.

33. They don’t reach critical mass.