Disclaimer 24M virgin with a five incher who is currently recovering from ED (like actually trying too, it just takes forever). The only sexual experience I have is with eating girls out and fingering them due to my dysfunction. I’ve always been insecure about my size due to stereotypes, but I have hope that I’ll recover and lose my virginity this year or next year. All that being said, I’ve been doing some research on penis size and female pleasure to get a realistic idea of what my sex life could be with my situation (sometimes to my own detriment). I’ve heard that “size doesn’t matter if he knows how to use it” quite often and am slightly hesitant about that. Excuse my ignorance, but isn’t the basic function of a penis to go in…and go out? My understanding of that is why the whole “motion of the ocean” claim has always puzzled me. Is it not all the same motion? In…and out? Is it all just a pc answer to avoid appearing shallow and to make others more hopeful despite their misfortunes? All advice from men and women is truly welcome just please be brutally honest. I don’t want to be sold lies
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Knowing how to use it does not refer specifically to a penis. It means, do you use everything at your disposal to get your partner off and are you willing to try new things to find out what works. Genuinely caring about the other person’s pleasure is not as universal as it should be. Do you use your hands, mouth, and toys to get your partner to climax? Do you engage in foreplay and aftercare and do you make sure they come (almost) every time instead of rolling over and falling asleep the minute you are done. Being good in bed is about enthusiasm and generosity.
A good analogy might be writing. Most people know how to write or print with a pen, and you can usually read what the person wrote, but there’s a big difference in skill between deliberate, legible writing vs someone just quickly jotting down notes. The second one is sloppy. It’s “how you use” the pen that counts.
So the same with sex, you have the guys who just jackhammer away and don’t pay attention to their SO’s reactions and guys who take a bit more care. For example, you can experiment with shallow and deep thrusts and some people can find it fun to alternate between the two. There’s also angles and speed to take into consideration.
Just means do positions that compliment your size.
Make sure she comes with foreplay. Use a vibrator during sex.
Biggest advice I can give you is don’t put pressure on yourself to be good.
Reality of it is, most men in the world aren’t equipped to please a Woman.
Instead of thinking of ‘competing’ think of yourself as Rocky Balboa. If you do well, you’ve beat every other guy she’s slept with. If you suck, so what? You’re not expected to be good, anyway. It’s win-win.
Although some people might specifically be referring to a penis or penetration skills when saying, “know how to use it.” Most of the times “know how to use it” goes well beyond penis and penetration and including your ability to give oral and finger and make out and really just in general being a good lover.
Five inches is well within average size. No stereotypes or insecurities about it. You are average. Just like the majority of the rest of us. Ha ha.
I’m average, have ed that I take cialis for, and according to my wife “know how to use it.” We have a very fulfilling and great sex life. She is brutally honest. And, with her help, I have learned how to play her body like an instrument.
From what I have gathered from my wife filling me in on the girl talk that she partakes in, is that if you are not an asshole, put her pleasure first and be sure she has a good time (whatever that means to her), and help out around the house — then you are better than 99% of the men out there and they will love you for it.
Here is another thing I have talked about before. My wife is a size queen. We have dildos that are literally 3-4x times bigger than me. But, she still prefers my penis (which remember is average). It is mine. It is part of the person she loves. It is part of the person that loves her. She gets much physical pleasure from lots of things. But, she gets both physical and mental pleasure from the guy she loves that “knows how to use it.”