I (M29) broke up with a girl (F28) after seeing her for 2 months in a mutually agreed friends with benefits situation.
I met up with her last week and amicably broke up with her in as mature a way as I could, and no bridges were burnt.
I broke up with her because we were getting too close and intimate, and historically I have found it immensely difficult to be productive in my life, while also being in a relationship. In other words, I tend to neglect other important things in my life in romantic relationships—I get a bit consumed by them and have yet to figure out the balance.
But, I’m second guessing my decision, because I do really like her. She really likes me as well, saying that she was “in love” with me during the break up.
I’m starting to think it might be a good idea to get back in touch and learn to figure out that balance instead of completely denying myself of intimacy.
But, how should I approach getting back in touch?
Thanks
Tl:dr I broke up with my FWB after we were getting too close because I neglect my life in relationships, but I want to contact her after second guessing my decision.
5 comments
dude, send her this post
Be genuine, open and considerate. Make sure to mention you really like her+your balance situation+that you thought about her/your talk. Be understanding that she might hesitate at first, dont be pushy just explain yourself like you did in this post. Also dont forget to ask how she has been, show her you care. Good luck! Update us what happened 🙂
Just have an honest and genuine conversation with her about it. Explain all exactly as you have here.
Give her the honest truth and ask her if she will be willing to work on things with you and let her know where you stand but that the balls in her court now and it’s her choice what does she want to do
Sounds like one person ended it and the other person won’t accept it.
This problem will continue until you work through whatever is holding you back from maintaining a productive relationship. If you couldn’t keep balance in your life while you were in a relationship before, then what makes you think that you can do it now? If you miss her, then work through your own feelings and boundaries before reaching back out to her.