For context I am a 23 (f) I have been in the relationship for 5 years with a 26 (MTF) trans wife (early transition).
I’ve been married for two out of the 5 years I had just found out she had sent NSFW to other guys. It’s not just 1 or 2 it’s multiple pictures, it’s also against what we agreed upon in the relationship.
I found out about the pictures when I was changing a song. I unlocked her phone and a Reddit conversation was up with the picture admittedly I did read after the picture because I wanted to see what else she had been sending and it was definitely NSFW conversations.
I just don’t know what to do which is why I came here for advice.
TLDR tried switching songs found out wife was internet cheating
1 comment
You can repair it but first you have to see whether it is in fact repairable and the only way to do this is to confront her over this.
And the best place to start this conversation is to just ask her “Why?”. Don’t bother with the accusations or the excuses or the whole “why were you snooping” crap – just zero in on the thing you know. You know that she is sending NSFW pics to guys in here, you want to know why and you want it to stop.
What you want is honesty and even if it’s a kink, she at least has to be honest about it. Any deflections, or trickle truth or trying to do a DARVO (deny, attack, reverse victim and offender) just get batted right back at her with the same question – why are you doing this and will you stop doing it.
Her explanations and the way she does should tell you all you need to know about whether there is anything here to save.
If you feel it is worth saving then you can progress onto the next steps involving rebuilding trust, etc. But for now you have one question to ask of yourself.
Is this relationship worth repairing – and the only way to do that is to confront.