I’ve never been the most outgoing and socially skilled person and I’ve always been really introverted, but I had my fair share of experiences and I can say that I was ok or at least average for the most part, I didn’t have much difficulty talking to others growing up although I struggled to make real friends, but I was still able to maintain a conversation even with people who were complete strangers.
However, during the past 2 years, I’ve lost every social skill I ever had, I cannot talk to anyone, whenever it happens I freeze and don’t know what to say, even going to the mall or getting the groceries is a nightmare. I’ve always been shy but lately even imagining being in a social situation gives me so much anxiety that I repeat multiple scenarios in my head beforehand, yet I still fail and close myself off nonetheless.
This has been happening to me quite a lot lately, the last time I recall it happening was last week when I was waiting in front of a closed laundromat for roughly 15 minutes and decided to ask a girl who was there before me for how long she’d been waiting, after answering that she’d been there for more than an hour I decided to leave but she tried to start a conversation and I literally got glued to the spot for a solid 5 seconds lividly looking, and then said ” so you’ve been here way longer than me, goodbye ” and walked away quicker than I ever thought I could while hearing her giggle behind me.
If I could guess I’d say this is a direct consequence of some pretty traumatic events that happened in my life during the said period, to quickly summarize : I was led on for a good 3 months, then got betrayed and all of my friends ghosted me afterwards, all while I had been dealing with severe depression, which they were nearly all aware of. You could say that they left me when I needed them the most, and as a result I’ve been spending all of my time alone for more than a year now.
I developed trust issues because of what happened, but still decided to try making new friends, and it was at that moment that I realized I can’t socialize anymore, I can’t have small talks, I feel like I’m annoying anyone I try to talk to and judging by their reaction when I do so I guess it indeed is the case, I even became a dry texter which is the exact opposite of what I was before all of this.
I’m lost at this point, I truly want to know why and how I changed this much, and I also wonder if I can do anything about it or if it already is a lost cause.
2 comments
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Well, you have gone through a lot of trauma in your relationships. I think that is at the core of this. Not to mention we have all just come out of a pandemic where socializing was discouraged.
The most important thing is surrounding yourself around the *right* people. Seek out people you have good chemistry with that make you super comfortable. Maybe find people who share the same passions as you or have similar interests. Slowly but surely you will open up to others. Just don’t put any pressure on yourself. Communication should be about self-expression and sharing with others, not impressing people. If you do this communication should happen naturally and easily especially around the right crowd. Nothing is ever a lost cause. I wish you the best!