Hello there, I’ll start with a little TLDR before getting through the whole story.
TLDR: Girl best friend that we shared a lot, I gave my everything and she gave her everything, I thought she was the one and saw how I would lose her to another dude, decided to confess and it wasn’t mutual, although she suffers a lot because of the thought of loosing me.
She’s now 18(female) and I am 20(man)
I met this girl when I met my now ex-girlfriend in 2017, she was at the time, her best friend, she was interested in me at the time since she thought I was perfect in every way possible, she started talking to me and slowly building a friendship.
Since I was in my teenage years I really wasn’t investing a lot in the relationship, I was draw to another stuff and really didn’t pay much attention to her, which she was fine with it, I never let the relationship develop the way it could develop, I never thought I could have something that special with someone.
We always talked on and off, we could talk for some straight months and then leave each other but not bad terms but just because, however starting this year, I feel like a more mature person who can see the value in everyone and when she started talking and approaching, I started to see her different, saw how much happiness she can bring into my life and decided to go with the flow.
Soon we started talking everyday since January up until now July, we were always there for each other and we always supported and loved each other, but slowly she started treating me so special and different, up to the point I no longer felt I was saw as a friend, but like a potential partner.
She had his confirmation (a christian event) and she wanted me there, and also invited me over to lunch with his family, then it was her graduation, and she just put me in a place where I thought no friend can reach and to be completely honest I still think this way and most of my friends agree.
She has a lot of problems with herself, insecurities, she has not live life yet, although she has had boyfriends here and there, she has not lived those teenage years that almost everyone has, and she looked up at me as I have lived those and still go out every weekend with my friends, she wanted to do those things with me, she said that she will always feel safe and happy when I’m around her, and that wanted me to start looking into her into hanging out with my friends, which I did and everyone was okay with it.
Absolutely everyone thought we were a couple, she’s a very introverted person and sometimes suffers from social anxiety (like I said, has a lot of problems) and I have seen all her flaws, all her downsides and to be honest, I still love her even considering this, since she also accepted me with my flaws.
Her graduation was this Saturday, which also included her prom party, it was her first time at a club in her whole life after everyone she knew has already went to it, we had plans that the first time we went there, I would be there, at every step in her life she wanted me there, close to her.
But sadly, on Wednesday she told me how a ex boyfriend started flirting with her again, and that she was thinking to maybe hook up (not sex) with him on Saturday, at first she didn’t want to tell me, yet she ended up telling me, which blew my mind and I panicked since all this time I didn’t realize how much I love her.
So I called her later that evening, and confessed my feelings.
Maybe it was in a rush because of the thought of loosing her, yet, I did and she very respectfully said “I don’t know how to see people other than friends once I start seeing them as friends” and yeah, I was rejected.
However, due to her insecurities, she was so anxious that this meant the end of our relationship together, she’s so scared that this is the end and we both need to go our separate ways, which I don’t really want to do nor her, yet I am very sad about all of this situation and really don’t know what to do.
She’s fine with whatever I decide to do with the situation, I always were the one who knew what to do when a situation arises but this time around I really don’t know what to do with our relationship, this feels like a fall in our relationship that I don’t know if we would ever get up, I love every memory of our relationship since it was always nice, she was always by my side and we were inseparable, yet this feels like something going down and that I really don’t know what to do.
In the end she did absolutely nothing with the guy at her prom party because of me, she had me in my mind always before doing something, she thought I would feel bad and destroyed, and that would end our relationship forever since she destroyed me.
I do believe she can do what ever she wants and I’ve always told her that, no matter what, but she doesn’t know what to do nor myself, what we both know is that we don’t want to stop being part of each other’s life.
​
What am I supposed to do with this? I am so sad to take a decision, I don’t want to do anything that I regret.