When did you realize you were the asshole roommate?

3 comments

1. My wife, (then girlfriend of a couple weeks) practically moved in with me and my roommate. She had a dorm room as an RA, but if she wasn’t on-duty she spent the night/days at my place.

   I split bills 50/50 with my roommate, and he never confronted me about it which I am 100% grateful. He’s a great guy.

2. It took me several years after moving out before I realized I was the asshole roommate to my college bud.

   I was close with an older guy who did not like my college bud. He constantly talked a lot of crap about him and poked at his character flaws. As the immature and foolish kid I was, I latched onto what he had said about the guy and wasn’t particularly kind to him. I cringe at a lot of things I said to my college bud honestly and did not make much of an attempt to get closer with him, which I severely regret.

   It wasn’t until I had a massive falling out with this older guy that I came to realize it was the opposite – my college bud was a good guy and the older guy was the asshole. And likewise, by following along, I too was the asshole.

   I later apologized to my college bud for how I acted but he was very gracious and said I was the best roommate he ever had. Maybe I looked at things too pessimistically but I still felt awful with how I acted.

   What I learned from this is this – be very careful with who you surround yourself with. We are unconsciously affected and influenced by the people we surround ourselves with. If your friend talks shit about someone else often, you will naturally find yourself holding a negative view of that person. It’s how it is.

   So be careful.

3. I was pledging a fraternity and my roommate was not. He went to bed early and I’d come back from the fraternity house at ungodly hours sometimes (I at least tried to be really quiet). I also got a little messy with my clothes sometimes. Other than that, I thought I was a good roommate. Once I finished, I was on my A game and was as clean and considerate as possible.

   Alternatively, he had a serious girlfriend so I let them have the room to themselves fairly frequently so I think everything evened out in the end