I (28F) got dumped by my ex boyfriend (38M). I went no contact yet he keeps reaching out to me!
Why is my ex boyfriend trying to call and contact me 11 days after he dumped me? I was the one to get dumped! It broke my heart and I cried almost everyday. I went on no contact and blocked him everywhere. He tries to reach out to me via several different means. I always ignore his attempts and I have never responded since the break up.
At first he was angry and called me childish that I blocked him everywhere. He threatened to install Tinder if I don’t come over. A few days ago I took my personal belongings from his place during his absence. I made sure he was not there otherwise I would have been an emotional wreck. Ever since then he kept trying to reach out to me. Now before anyone draws the wrong conclusion I took my personal items only, I did not leave his apartment in a state of mess and no I did not wreck his apartment either. In case it matters, we haven been together for four years.
46 comments
Block him
Nah he is the one that is childish. Block and ignore. You deserve better and never forget that. Don’t let him manipulate you into thinking you are under his control.
My guess would be that he’s already installed Tinder and he’s not getting the response he thought he would. Forget about him and keep him blocked.
Let him install Tindr. I’m sure it’ll work out great for him.
No one worth their salt will get angry and call you names (like childish).
What he’s doing is being controlling. He wants the power in the relationship, so by breaking up with you he wants you pining after him. He wants to “take you back” so he can remind you that he “allowed” you to come back. Then you OWE him.
So by doing the very adult thing of blocking him and cutting off contact from him (after all, he broke up with you!) you interrupted his plan of putting you under his thumb.
He broke the relationship with you, he does not hold the power. You do. He’s showing you who he is – believe him. He doesn’t deserve “closure” – it was his choice to break up with you.
He’s projecting his own immaturity on you. And I bet he already has installed Tinder.
He is trying to manipulate and control you. Keep blocking/ignoring him. If he gets pushy, call the cops for harassment.
This sounds like a straightforward case of “I don’t want you but I don’t want anyone else to have you either.”
Block him and move on.
Continue blocking him. He’s trying to manipulate you into getting back with him, he’s a man child
He already dumped you so he can install Tinder all he wants. You can’t be his fall back guy when he is not getting any. Block him and move on.
It’s all about power and control, you need to block him on everything and go completely no contact. If he tries to reach out to you from a different phone number or whatever just block that as well and do not respond. A response is what he wants from you, he wants to know he still has power and control over you.
Go on Tinder yourself. Keep him blocked. Don’t give in to his childishness. He’s really shown you who he is.
Hes a manipulating dick.
Keep the no contact going.
If I had to guess, he only broke up with you as a manipulation tactic. He probably expected you to come crawling back instead of taking him at his word and blocking him. If that’s the case, then you don’t want to be with someone like that anyway. Tell him to enjoy Tinder.
Why would you care of your ex installed tinder?? That’s the weirdest “threat”. That’s like saying “come over or I’ll scroll through Instagram”.
Why did he break up with you? He’s being pretty childish.
Why is that a threat? Let him install Tinder. Keep ignoring this man-child.
keep blocking him, who gives a shit if he installs tinder. he’s single now
You’ve done everything right. You may need to change your phone number and let all your family and friends know to never give out your number without checking with you first. If you tell your cell provider you are being harassed by an ex, they will usually do it for free.
That being said, I can be mean. There are several replies to choose from as the last you send before your current number is disconnected. Feel free to use any that work for you.
*”and I would care why?”*
*”don’t threaten me with a good laugh”*
*”someone on Tinder wants you?”*
*”moved on & moved up. you need to do the same”*
*“I would tell you to go screw yourself but you’d be very disappointed.”*
*”sorry, but who is this?”*
All he wants is sex. Why would you be “coming over” in that situation? Let him go on tinder and see how little of a response he gets.
Focus on you and moving forward. You don’t need this energy in your life!
Yup. Exactly what first commenter said. He thought he could go get some ass and found out no one would touch him with a ten foot pole. Loser.
“I’ve moved on. You should too. As a single man, you don’t need my permission to install Tinder or any other dating app. Go. Live your life. Please do not contact me again.”
This is the funniest thing I’ve read today XD
threatened you to install tinder? as if he’s telling you that he can find better than you.
you can tell him to F off.
He is a creep. He was 34 and you 24 when you started going out, and you say he is the type to call you “childish”… so he is using the fact he is older to manipulate you, like he is Mr Mature when he is an AH.
Tell him to go fuck himself and block him
Let him get rejected on tinder too. What a loser. I’m sorry you’re hurting right now but he did you a favor
Keep. Him. BLOCKED. This is literally the case of him thinking the grass would be greener on the other side and that girls would be lining up to get with him. Now that he’s realizing it’s not the case, he’s trying to manipulate you into taking him back while completely disregarding the mental torment he put you through. Block him and move on! That’s the best revenge you can give an Asshole like him
Keep running. File a restraining order if he persists. Stalking is a crime. Also, he is 38 years old and dating someone 10 years younger than himself. He isn’t going to find that again. Find yourself a nice guy who isn’t a stalker.
So he thought you’d come running back, and when instead you moved on, he found an issue with it. You dodged a bullet. Win some, lose some, you didn’t lose out with this one.
Don’t give him what he wants. He thought he was going to get to toy with you and drag things out.
Uhh… block him and be done with him. He’s not your boyfriend anymore… he’s your EX-boyfriend.
I’m guessing he thought things might go a little bit better and things went horribly wrong. Let him wallow in his own stupidity.
“Good luck on the dating apps”
Then BLOCK. It’s there for a reason
This man is almost 40 and acting like this? Yikes. You did the right thing blocking him.
Next time he threatens Tinder, tell him go for it and block however he’s still contacting you.
Sounds to me like an abusive relationship. Some people use these tactics to control their partners. He didn’t expect you to accept the break up (my guess). And either beg to have him back or give up something to him in exchange for taking you back.
He’s trying to just use you for sex. Keep him blocked, who cares if he downloads tinder.
His second option didn’t workout so he’s reaching back out to you.
Why do u care if he installs tinder ?
38!? Oh no honey, he did you a huuuuge favor in dumping you, that’s a full grown man child.
It sounds like you dodged a bullet. He dumped you. Move on. Let him join Tinder. I hope he gets an STD. Keep him blocked. Stand your ground and don’t give in. He realizes he F’d up and now he gets to live with the consequences of his actions. Good. I hope you meet someone better than he’ll ever be.
Keep doing what you’re doing.
You got your personal possessions and it sounds like you are able to separate out from him financially, so you’re good to go and start a new phase of your life without him.
Tell him in no uncertain terms that if he does not stop, you will file a police report for harassment and ask for a restraining order.
Haha let him install tinder. It’s not the place for a 38 year old with a bad attitude and entitlement.
Did he break up with you hoping you’d beg to get him to take you back? Perhaps it was a manipulation tactic and it backfired.
He broke up with you and is upset that YOU are moving on. He is not entitled to any of your attention.
Finally, he may be 10 years older but clearly you’re more mature.
10 year age difference, thank god he dumped you. He did you a favor. Stay no contact and do not break it NO MATTER WHAT HE SAYS
Another possibilities that come to mind, apart from what others have already said, he wanted to hurt you by breaking up, maybe to teach you a “lesson” and make you miss him so much that when you get back together you will do whatever he wants in fear of losing him again, obviously you were hurt but somehow starting to moving on with your life by blocking him (at least with me that’s how my healing starts), he feels his plan backfired so he’s acting like you described, but notice he’s not apologizing though, it seems like he’s playing games to me, if I were you I keep him blocked and keep on moving on, you already were starting to mourn the relationship you had,why back down now?
Or paranoia me was thinking the worst case scenario he is one of those dangerous men that think “if you are not mine, you are from no one” and then murders their girlfriend, maybe it won’t happen to you, but ven tiny that’s a possibility, be careful.
Ma’am he already got tinder installed he’s just not getting the matches he thought he would