My wife is *occasionally* in the mood to go down on me for a short while, but she thinks it’s much hotter if I tell her to do it (we often do dirty talk / light role play where I’m in charge).
Do you have any ideas of how I can figure out when she’s in the mood for being told to go down on me?
Perhaps we can use some predefined sign that she can use (which wouldn’t break the illusion that it’s not her choice)? Or some way to test the waters (perhaps using dirty talk)? Or some way of phrasing it that gives her a way out (for example by giving me a hand job instead)?
I realize that I could always try, to which she can simply decline. However, that would kill the mood a bit and also make my “command” less authoritative (and therefore hot) when she’s in the mood.
8 comments
Talk. To. Her.
Seriously , why can most posts be answered with “Talk with each other”?
A common tactic here is to use a particular piece of jewelry, or color of clothing, or any wearable item really, to signify that you’re in the mood. When she wears it, you can take charge (she can still decline ofc), and when she isn’t wearing it, it means she doesn’t feel like it.
i use a different name, close to her real one, to indicate that i am into it at the moment.
in your case, you could ask her to call you John (random name) when she’s in the mood
safe word. Just do it and she will obey and if she doesnt want to shell say the word
safe word. Just do it and she will obey and if she doesnt want to shell say the word
I’ve recently learned my wife is similar. I haven’t tried this yet, but I’m going to go up to her and say “where do you want this, your hand, mouth, or pussy?” She’s always down for sex, so that way if she’s not up for oral, it gives her an out.
Another idea: Use two different phrases for her answer, like this:
“I want you to suck my cock.” – “I will do whatever you say, my master.” -> If she wants it, too.
“I want you to suck my cock.” – “I will do whatever you say.” – “But you must earn it first!”
So if she doesn’t add “my master”, you know you’ll have to stop her because she doesn’t want to give you a blowjob. I don’t mean you actually have to follow up on it by making her “earn” it (but maybe that could be an interesting game, too — it would give her the freedom to fail), it’s just a means for an interruption. You can of course use another phrase for the purpose of stopping her. You could also say “Stop! You didn’t address me properly. You are not allowed the privilege of pleasuring me with your mouth!”
In this way you don’t break the game of being the one in control, but at the same time respect her wish. You also give her the opportunity of deciding on the spot whether she’s in the mood or not rather than having to decide beforehand. It’s also much more of a thrill for you, as you don’t know how she’ll decide.
A comment on safe words for forced oral: She can’t say it with your cock in her mouth. You need a non-verbal signal, one that will get your attention, like a hard pinch on your thigh.