This guy is a complete dick to me. Me and a lot of my friends were talking and one of my friends called him a cuck and he said “well im not a cuck like(me).” He just disrespects me. I did nothing wrong to him. Today in a group chat we’re talking about going out and he said he’d rather have no one go then me showing up, and then he says full offence. I once confronted him about it and he started saying he was joking. But he isn’t. He’s a piece of shit and it makes me mad. Whats the best way to approach someone like him. I’m always nice to him and he just disrespects me. I wanna start becoming an asshole to him just to show the guy how it feels but he’ll definitely find a way to make me look like the villian.
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Try to self respect and self value yourself don’t let anyone else decide your worth and you don’t need to respect the people who Don’t respect you also try not hate them it means they already won and also hate can eat you up good luck
I don’t. Fuck that shit.
“I don’t get the joke. Explain it to me.”
“That was really uncalled for and impolite”
“It’s just a joke, bro”
“I don’t hear anyone laughing and I dont find that funny”
Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself in the heat of the moment. He is picking on you because you seem to be an easy target. You are nice and let him get away with it. There are things you may need to do to improve how you come across to others such as working on your confidence and level of self-respect. I hardly ever have situations like this happen to me because of how I carry myself and speak. Most people know not to mess with me, but I wasn’t always like this so I know you can get there too.
Word of advice don’t stoop as low as him making the insults, just call out how it makes him look by saying those things to you. His behavior is a reflection of his own opinions about himself.
“You can admit you’re jealous of me instead of trying to shit talk me, but you’re not man enough to admit it”
Tell them that they’re a joke
Don’t operate on the social context that it’s a joke, respond how you would respond if he was just insulting you to your face because that’s what he is doing. If he says he’s joking just go “Bullshit.” and continue. People aren’t dumb, they’re on your side.
Bullies are after power. If you establish power over them every time they attempt to do it on you, they will back off. Not playing by their rules does that.
Don’t be nice to someone that is not nice to you if he is joking on your behalf you joke on his and disrespect him the same way he does to you
Don’t become an asshole. Don’t stoop to his level. You will have to gain some confidence to confront him, though. If your friends are with you then they should sympathize and recognize him as a bully. They might even feel uncomfortable for you in these situations. **If you have one friend in that group that you are closest to, talk to them first and foremost about this other guy’s behavior.** If not:
Don’t confront him one-on-one. If he makes a joke at your expense while you’re in a group chat or out with your friends, that is your time to shine.
There are two options here, depending on the situation. You have to feel the vibe.
One option is to turn the joke back on him. It keeps the jokey vibe going and insulates you. In your example you might respond, “nah you’re clearly the cuck of the group LOL.” This might take the heat off of you at the moment. If he targets you for calling him out, I would either double-down “ok cuck” or say “relax lol.” Short and dismissive responses to his outbursts will likely frustrate him, so expect retaliation later on where he thinks he can humiliate you, which leads to the second option:
Make him explain himself. Assert that you don’t find his insults funny. Tell him to chill out. Always let him make the first move if he disparages you again, and then you can respond, with confidence. If you get to this point, make sure it’s when you’re in a group chat or with your friend group. Once again, let him make the first move.
Try to not get mad. Don’t let your emotions take over in the situation. Be calculated. Be ready to respond if he makes a disparaging remark.
Lastly, and I know this is social skills and not life advice, but get fit and at the very least do some body weight exercises to build muscle. Bullies will not target you if it appears like you can hold your own. This will also help with your confidence.
Best of luck, friend.
Simple. With disrespect. If they get irritated by it, I tell them why. If that makes them mad it’s not my problem it’s theirs. Generally speaking I dump such people when I can (work makes it difficult sometimes or when you’re in school etc) – don’t bother with people not worthy your time
Just be very confident in who you are as a person. It is not really about you, but about him. So, just keep saying “ok, if you say so” to him. It is not your responsibility to try and “fix” his insecurities.
Ah the certified curbstomping procedure is required for this very situation
When he talks about you, you could say something along the lines of…dude, why are you making this about me? Are You’re like weirdly into me?..then change the subject. If he brings the conversation back to you, you could respond with, ‘why are you so obsessed with me? It’s weird.’ Make him feel uncomfortable for targeting you. Try to avoid talking to him directly and keep normal conversation going with your other friends.
If this is somewhere I can be rude I usually go with the middle finger or “fuck yourself”.
If this is someplace where you feel you have to keep up appearances, I like playing dumb. Usually the person just ends up playing the stupid role herself.
For example I was in a studies class (not a library, where we have to keep silent, a class were people usually go to work on group papers I’m not sure if they have a special name in english) and my partner and I were discussing how we were going to divide the paperwork and so on. Than this lonesome dude turns out of nowhere and asks if his silence was disrupting our conversation.
I asked him “what” because I thought he would get the idea but he then repeated himself. So I just looked him dead in the eye and said. “Oh no, don’t worry! We can work our papers out even though you are silent, you are not in our group afterall!”
I swear to god he just straight up left and people started laughing their asses off when he left.
They started calling him “not in our group” for the rest of the semester 🙂
One tactic that might take some skill with irony and deadpan: agree with him. Whenever he starts trying to antagonize you, simply and innocently agree with him.
“OP is a cuck” – “Yeah man, my wife has been having sex with a whole bunch of men right in our living room, right in front of me! Bet you’re glad you’re not me right now. I sure would be.”
“I’d rather no one shows up than you” — “Absolutely! I bet you’d rather just be alone. I’d bet you’d rather live 1,000 miles away from any sign of life rather than even notice me across a busy street. I bet you would rather have to live in a bubble at the bottom of the Marianas Trench than to even see a picture of me. I bet you would rather be launched into space than to even remember my name. That must be really tough for you, I’m sorry.”
Whatever he says, just “yes, and” it, and push the bit even farther. But do it with a big, dumb smile on your face, and no hint of anger or self-pity.
He will get angrier and angrier that he can’t get a rise out of you, and you’ve removed his back-door exit of getting defensive or saying “I was just kidding, chill out”. ‘Cuz then you just hit him with “Yeah, you were just kidding and it was HILARIOUS. Like it was so funny that I laughed and laughed and I choked on my drink and swallowed my own snot from laughing so hard. I really need to chill out because your jokes are just cracking me up so much.” Keep with it and lean even harder in (but always remain a blank slate, smile, and show no emotion besides agreeable joviality). Eventually he will get bored and move on, or else get scared because he thinks you’re a lunatic haha. But in the long-term, you should really work on finding different friends if no one is standing up to this behavior.
When this happens I tell them to get better jokes. Buy a joke book and give it to him. Make it weird. “Now you can tell jokes that aren’t at the expense of other people.”
So it’s a typical male behavior to make fun of others in the group as a kind of “test”. If you can take a joke and then make an even more brutal joke back, then you’re “one of the guys.”
On the other hand, if he senses that you take the jokes personally and get hurt, then he will see you as “bullyable” and keep targeting you.
What you do in this case doesn’t matter that much, what’s more important is to realize his jokes are not about you, it’s just a pattern. As soon as you learn to give it right back, the jokes will stop, or they’ll be fun and you’ll play along.
The key is to know it’s not about you, and that you can learn to toughen up and not be hurt by these jokes.
there is a difference between being nice and being a pushover. At some point when someone shows you their true colors, it’s time to start firing back. You can call out his shitty behavior directly, or, if you think you can be witty, try and have some comebacks ready. Honestly, you may gain confidence by standing up for yourself. You don’t need to be an asshole, but let him know you won’t lie down and take abuse.
For example, in the text chain you could have replied, “Then stay home. I don’t care if you come, but if you do, try to be less of an asshole than usual.”
Ask your closest friends involved if you deserved that. Ask them if that guy is unstable. Get a feel for the backing you might get from your friends when you do respond to him.
Yeah just bluntly tell him he talks too much shit and its not fun for you. “Why would I want to be around that? Would you?”Just be super logical about it. If he’s not a complete psychopath he’ll probably have a moment of self-awareness and feel bad about it. If he is then you both know what it is, and he knows why you don’t like him moving forward. And you don’t have to pretend you do. You can freely and openly avoid being around him and no one will blame you.
We’re not friends. You don’t get to jokingly insult me. You don’t get to be “schrodinger’s asshole” and decide whether you’re joking after people laugh. You are disrespectful enough to say it, and apparently think even less of me because you think I’m dumb enough to fall for that line. Don’t “joke” about me. Don’t talk to me.
If you work at the same place or go to the same school, this is where you say you’ll report then or get them fired or something.
“lol why would you say something like that”
“did you really just say that? anyway…”
“can’t believe you’d say something so rude”
“messed up/outta pocket”
etc.
or if you want to be direct. “Please stop making fun of me. It’s not funny.”
There are 2 to 3 ways of responding to this type of behavior
1) Complete apathy. Pretend whatever he says is meaningless. Like he doesn’t even exist. When you look at him you see past him because he’s not opaque, he’s transparent. Deny his existence and demerit anything he says by pretending it wasn’t said.
2) Responding with equal amounts of insult. This is my favourite method. But it’s possible it might make him mad. But if you don’t care about burning that bridge then burn it. Gotta practice this though. Can’t go with your mom jokes and “that’s what you are, but what am I” type retort.
3) Ask him what his problem is with you, in private. If he’s an asshole, this is not going to change his behaviour
Id say don’t try to make him feel shitty because like you said he can play the victim card. Keep defending yourself you can talk to him in private but if he’s not getting it then I suggest next time he says something rude in front of everyone you make him seem like an asshole in front of everyone. Tell him that’s very rude and you’re minding your own business and that he can take the disrespect somewhere else. If he says he is joking just be like jokes are funny you are just being an asshole right now. If you’re not comfortable saying it then if you guys are texting in your groupchat and he says something then you can do it then.
Yes be the villain he wants you to look like, you have to tell them to knock it off properly and when you will them they will try to gaslight you but you have to stick with your statement, trick is you don’t justify your statement and try to put logic behind it you just say either knock it off or fuck off
If he has to say “its a joke” he’s being a dick and then called on it.
So safe to say, he’s a dick and you should keep calling him on it.
He wants you to get upset/ react/ hurt by his comments. He thinks you’re too weak to put him in his place. He thinks you’ll just keep letting him be rude.
Dont. Tell him off, very clearly. Call him out publicly. Set your boundaries. Dont let him walk all over you. He thinks youre weak/easy prey. Respond with confidence and strength. Because really, he knows hes the weak one. Only weak people stoop to this type of stuff, to make themselves feel better. You deserve respect, so demand it.
But honestly…its rare people like that change. So after you tell him off, you might consider options of cutting him out of your life entirely somehow, no matter how messy that might be. Because he will never be a positive thing in your life, so its pointless to put in more effort to fix things further.
Why are you even associating with him?
kick his ballz
Call him a fucking prick in front of everyone and see who defends him. Likely no-one will, which is tantamount to agreement, effectively ostracising that behaviour. Apart from that you can still be civil, but don’t simper. He’s not worth it.