Me (29M) and my GF (28F) dated two weeks on premise of serious relationship.
We had a few sex. But she seems fine to start raw, or remove condom in the process. She says she got Nexplanon so we won’t have babies, and I could feel the insert on her arm.
I googled the device but it’s not 100%. I plan to have babies but not so early into the relationship. I was not comfortable with the uncertainty and haven’t got to finish during sex yet. Also she’s quite new to the country and Idk if I’m overthinking about her intentions. Would this be red flag? How can I sensibly bring up my concerns with her?
7 comments
Do what you think is right for you. This is a new relationship so trust is important to build.
If you’re not comfortable with the condom off, let her know. If you’re wanting the condom to stay on, tell her as such. If it’s not her want, then you’ll likely need to have a talk about goals and the relationship going forward.
I don’t want to be this guy, but it sounds like she’s planting a trap. I hope you really trust her and I’m wrong but I have a few friends this happened to with similar circumstances and the girl planed on getting pregnant in secret. Stay safe brother
If you’re uncomfortable, tell her. It’s not okay for her to do things you’re not comfortable with sexually.
Also know that: Birth control is never 100%, but what she has is close. You have extremely low chances of getting her pregnant.
If you dont want to and she does it shes SAing you. Please protect yourself and dont let her do it
Contrary to the notion that only men hate wearing condoms, many women also don’t like them. It dries them out faster, can be more abrasive/irritating, and it just doesn’t feel exactly the same as direct skin-to-skin contact. If you can trust your partner won’t pass you an STI, and she has birth control covered, you have nothing to worry about. Especially if she has the implant, because there’s no way for her to fake that and baby trap you later if you can feel it in her arm.
There is no 100% foolproof method of contraception except abstinence. You can double up with condoms, you can triple up with spermicide and a diaphragm. There’s always a remote possibility *everything* fails. However, if you’re still uncomfortable proceeding without condoms for the time being, then you have to voice your concern to her and stand firm on not engaging in sexual activity without one.
Do what you feel is comfortable for you – if it makes you feel more confident if you use condoms, then keep doing that.
Keep in mind that no contraceptive method (or combination thereof) is 100% effective. But Nexplanon is already incredibly effective (somewhere around 99.7% from memory). So if it was me I wouldn’t be stressed, but like I said you should do what makes you feel confident.