Some background on me, I have no friends, have a hard time talking or opening up to people that aren’t my family, virgin, all my highschool friends moved away or got married, am socially awkward, spent almost ten years of my life as a shut in essentially and have no idea how Friendships or interpersonal relationships are supposed to work. I’m moving out of my abusive family’s house in the fall for a large university but I’ll be 27, and all of the above problems. I’ve spoken to a therapist and I’ve been told that the important step in addition to the talking is to take action and I’m slowly pushing myself out of my comfort zone for the past year, and I can say I have improved. But nowhere near what I would like. Still no friends, my family ignores me and if I shot myself my presence would go unnoticed by anyone. I’m willing to kill my ego and live in the moment, but at the end of my life dying alone and unloved in a hospital bed terrifies me. I don’t want to go out like that
14 comments
Hey man you have so much to live for just being alive is a blessing you just gotta learn to love yourself first im going through something similar and im 32 bro im still pushing because I have faith in things getting better just stay strong.
Hey king life is shit sometimes but you matter I attempted to kill myself a while ago someone I worked with stopped me. We sat and talked, he told me that I bring joy to a lot of people at work with my cheerfully personality. (I mask hard) he also told me how many times I made his day better by one of my many antics. He also told me it takes a single smile had a stranger to brighten someone’s day. You can affect people in passing with a simple smile and I’m sure someone would notice you’re gone don’t get down King keep fighting
You need to continue with the therapy and realize that your behavior is your choice. You have to make a conscious decision to grow and change and get out of your comfort zone and meet new people. You also need to learn to be happy in your own peace. Because if you aren’t happy with yourself, how are you supposed to attract someone who wants to be with you?
No, you should not off yourself, ever. But the only person who is going to make your life better is you. So get to it.
Wheres a place you really want to go
>I’m slowly pushing myself out of my comfort zone for the past year, and I can say I have improved. But nowhere near what I would like.
Hey! I’m sorry you’re going through some tough stuff. Let’s not let that stop us from celebrating the wins though. You yourself just said you’ve improved. Let’s celebrate that. Let’s look at how far we still need to go as a challenge worth taking, not one to resign to.
Growth isn’t linear and that’s why it’s so hard. Some days you do better, other days you fall back into where you were. Hang in there. There’s a future you that will be thankful no matter how things turn out.
Continue on your therapy and remember, there’s no need to suddenly become a “normal” person (which no one actually is) and focus on those little improvements you said you noticed
I would recommend you to adopt a pet dog etc once you move out. It will really help you with the loneliness and from there it might be a good start towards meeting with the people from pet communities. Also, focus on building yourself, money and the network. Rest everything will fall in place. Have some patience. You have a chance of achieving something great in the coming 77+ Years. Don’t let it go waste.
watch my little pony and relax, friendship will come with time
Don‘t give up!And oh my god don’t kill yourself.I know life can be very hard and it can suck so much – even for a long long time.It took me 10 years to „break free“. I had so many defeats and disappointments I lost track of.My frustration was endless!
Then all of a sudden,things got better and time after time I was able to build a new solid life for myself. It wasn‘t easy and I wanted to give up so many times but due to the support of my therapist I didn‘t quit.
Now I am living my best life. My life changed 100 %.Although I never want to endure this very long
„shitty phase“ again, I am even a little bit thankful for it. It made me stronger and things other people upset, I do not even recognize as I have seen worse. I became very humble.
Therefore again:Don’t give up!You deserve a life and you deserve a good life. Get yourself a good therapist so that you are not alone. Life will eventually get better if you keep going. All the best for you!
*Sorry for mistakes, English is not my native language*
I (19m) am a sophomore in college with a (20f) Junior girlfriend
She told me a while back during the end of second semester of freshman year that she had been planning on killing herself when she got to college (for some really odd reasons, but that’s not the important part) and in many ways she was just like you. Even her parents thought she was going to d!3 alone.
And she (obviously) never did because she found people like herself and people who shared common interests. And a year later we met each other and istm I don’t believe in soulmates, but if they do exist then she’s mine.
What I’m saying is, no, you shouldn’t kill yourself ever, but especially with the progress you are making to be social and independent. You may put yourself out there and find so many reasons to live for.
Stop jerking off
You will move out and go to university. Great! Move in a shared flat, so you have people around. Go to lectures and talk to people sitting alone or a group about organisation or the topic of the lecture, whatever. Dont stress out, keep it simple, dont expect anything. Next time sit next to the same people or just say hi to them and talk about the lecture or whatever. U wont make friends right away, but all the people in the first few weeks of university are in the same boat. Especially the people sitting alone in lectures and not talking to anyone. Just have 1 or 2 people as a support to be safe, no need to be friends, can be superficial. They know people or greet them, and so do you if you stick to them
Every journey starts somewhere. Yours starts here.
There is absolutely no reason to feel hopeless. Your past has been rough. Ok, but here’s what I just read: “I’m moving out of my abusive family’s house in the fall for a large university … I’ve spoken to a therapist … I’m slowly pushing myself out of my comfort zone for the past year, and I can say that I have improved.”
That is fantastic! You are making change in your life. So many people think they can never change, but you are making it happen. That is huge, and if you continue, you will see the rewards. Not all at once, but over time.
My advice to you is to continue seeing a therapist and to start to set small goals for yourself.
Here’s one: chat with a stranger. Why? Because it’s a useful friendship-building skill.
How do you do it? Just comment to a random person about something random and see how they respond. For example, you and someone else happen to be looking at apples in the grocery store and you pick one up and say, “Have you tried these new Cosmic Crisp apples? I had one the other day and I loved it so much I am recommending them to everyone I know. They are incredible!”
Then smile and see what they say. Maybe they look at you funny or maybe they respond positively. Either way, you did your part and now it’s their turn and you are off on another part of your adventure.
In any case, you have everything to live for and there is zero reason why your future will be acting like your past. It’s in your hands. It won’t change instantly, but it will change.
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