21
This is going to be a little bit long, If you feel it’s too much for you, I’m sorry guys but you probably should look for other post or to at least help me with what you can read.
Why I have diffucites with communication? Why’s that?
I went through a very hard path during my childhood, for atleast 9 years and most of that period was with social isolation, I overcame all the struggels but I lost alot on the journey, I also “chose” escapsim of atleast 25,000hrs Of gaming in those years.
The results are clear, I missed alot of opportunities I had to strength and create connection I had in the childhood, and I threw them away, now I know that probably hurt some people, now It’s harder when your not kid anymore. I never had the change to know myself and build a relationship with myself, I really neglected my life and my body(I was super fat until November 2021)
My whole life was a mess, It’s like I’m now awaking from coma, Only from age of 20 I started to live, from that moment I told myself I’m going to learn how to tie shoes(lol), And I made a really radical change In my life that really looks unbelievable. I’m a complete different person.(for good)
**Let’s be short and specific from now**
I just don’t have **enough experience with social situations**, because whenever someone offered me I declined. so my brain is automatically wired to this” behavior, I have not made mistakes on my skin that I can learn from them. (social cues)
• I feel like I don’t have really close and strong connections, so that’s probably a good reason for little bit low-confidence in the social area, It feels I need to build every connection from zero.
• I have a lot of issues in my life that I must fix, It’s really though but I have not choice. How to combine the social part with all this? This kinda hard because I can’t control other people actions.. I don’t know how to notice people intentions(trust) and if it’s worth spending time with them.
• I barely function on the electronic sector, You know…. the whole bullshit of dealing with ghosting or miscommunication, who initiates first typically, What is the frequency of the communication. because to be honest, when I was in some setting for a while and people really had the chance to know me, they liked me. But I never manage to keep in touch with someone, even **when** people ask me to do it.
TL:DR – My strengths I’v noticed.
• When I’m relaxed and I focus on the present, I can make a long conversation about literality nothing..
• On every social setting I was.. when I was **energetic** and **social** I was respected and liked by most.. especially in the army.
• When I’m energetic(high energy), I can be really social and charismatic.
• Personal conversation 1on1 is a really strong point of mine, most of my conversations on that setting went great without issues, I have no problem with intimacy or deep topics.
• A lot of people say to me that I’m funny.. but I never said that on myself..
• I can be really quiet at first in some setting, If I get some “boost” from someone, or task/activity, I’m starting to be relaxed and social. And then I become energetic.
• I love to speak in front of audience, and to be honest I’m good at this, I never knew that until someone made me do it..
• I’m confident when I have to speak to authority.
• I love to learn and think about complex ideas in science,business,philospohy.. That’s not something that I can talk with people about..
TL:DR – How to fix the situation
I wrote things to myself but that’s not enough to overcome the issue..
I do feel that I need to replace my isolated job to one’s that require communication(like sales).