I had really connected with a woman online through private chat. I really got on with her and I started to want to know more about her and wanted to know what she looked like.
I felt like I was almost displaying what my wife did to me.
To be clear, we never exchanged pics and we never overstepped any boundaries at all, to be honest it was a comforting chat but part of me wanted to experience what my wife did to me.
My wife got all this validation and got a big ego boost.
Is it weird that I wanted to experience the same thing? I never would and did have to stop talking to the woman. I didn’t want to be a hippacrite and also I feel my marriage can be saved.
Just want to know if anyone has felt this way
5 comments
I have witnessed how an emotional affair can fuck up a marriage. I think it’s human nature to want validation and the ego boost. The key as a married person is not to put yourself in that tempting position in the first place, but its like a drug.. you get a little taste and you start to rationalize your way into doing it more and more.
“oh, but I never acted on it”.. well you mean physically you didnt.. but mentally you are already thinking about things that were reserved for your spouse when you said “I do”
I feel you man.. I get it.. but you have to address this right away and don’t let it fester. I don’t believe in an eye for an eye (not saying this is/was your intent.. just saying I don’t believe in it) .. if you can’t fix it, get out.. life is too short.
One other thing.. if your spouse engages in an emotional affair I believe it’s usually due to them missing something in their home life/marriage. Maybe the guy/gal compliments them a lot, validates their fears or concerns etc.. do some homework and see if you are perhaps missing something that SHE wants from you.. make that part of your discussions.
Another thing you have to consider too.. if a dude is going after your wife.. what’s the likelihood that he is needing the exact same type of validation (meaning no physical contact is desired)? I think the odds are NOT in your favor on that.. I think the guy highly likely has intentions on trying to pursue as far as he can go (your wife would allow) – another reason to act fast.
I don’t think it’s weird … but my only/best advice is talk with her or get counseling if needed to re-focus your marriage. Best of luck
just leave and move on. also its probably because she not getting it in your relationship
I understand the attraction. I had a pretty intense emotional relationship with a woman and it was exhilarating in many ways. However, I did it with my wife’s full knowledge and support. That is the only way to do it safely IMO.
Many people want to revenge cheat to either have a better understanding or to get back at their partner but honestly nothing good comes from it. You follow this path you break your moral pillars just like her. It is hard not to but you have to try and choose your wife and work with your therapist.
You both have gaps— needs that aren’t being met. Each of you needs validation, and maintenance. If you’re getting no attention, affection, admiration or commaradary your primary relationship, you seek it elsewhere.
Grass may seem greener on the other side… Nope! The grass is always greenest where you water and fertilize. You both are nurturing the wrong relationships.