Please I really need some advice on this! Me and my
boyfriend have been together for 4 years, it has
been a few months since we are in LDR. Yesterday
he told me he was really depressed about his life
and unsure about this relationship, and told me he
still loves me but this relationship has been stale for
very long time; and it’s turning into a friendship, and
he wants to start his life fresh, and not date anyone.
I cried and asked him if it was the end, he said he
wasn’t sure. I spent all night crying even had to call
my mom in the middle of the night because I had a
panic attack.. in the morning he has texted me that
he decided he wants to stay together and he can’t
break my heart. I’m not sure whether it’s genuine or
he just feels sorry for me, I can’t bare to ask him
and start that conversation again because I’m still
very hurt. I don’t know what I should do now? We
are talking but he gives me dead replies because he
is depressed, I offered to find him a psychologist
and even pay for it. He refused. I said I will give him
space if he wants, he said he didn’t mind talking.
Shall I continue talking to him and stand by him or
stop talking at all? So maybe he will realise he is
losing me and have a motivation to do something
tl;dr: I really love him and I don’t want to break up. I’m not sure what to do …?
4 comments
If he said he doesn’t want to date anyone, I would believe him. He told you he’s staying because he doesn’t want to break your heart, not because he wants to be in the relationship.
Based off what you said, it seems he wants to end the relationship and do his own thing, but seeing how much it hurt you, he wants to stay. Not really a good or healthy reason to stay bc you’ll both just be miserable. Best to give yourself a couple of days to just things through and end the relationship.
he just feels sorry for you, move on.
I have depression almost all my life. It could be his depression talking. The best you can do now, if it is okay with you, is to be his friend but not his girlfriend. He is in no condition to date but he can use a friend. If course, it will be unfair to you. And there is a chance you two are incompatible or he can’t do LDR. There is also a chance you two will never be lovers again. I was like that with my ex. We became friends. I guess we friend zoned each other.