I have a developed a close friendly relationship with an older coworker of mine (Jack) over the course of nearly 10 months working at our particular job. This was because we employees are all essentially cashier style waitresses and my coworker is very good, competent at the job. So many of our other coworkers are not (many are high schoolers) so we’ve developed a friendship over being some of the few older, competent employees there who know how to work hard and help each other throughout our day to day minutiae of tasks. I have a similarly close friendly relationship with the other few older folks that work with me. It’s always a great day when I have a shift with any of them. Jack has heard I might be leaving the job soon and has told me he “has so much he wants to say to me but not while we’re coworkers” and when I responded “what does that mean?” He said “he loves seeing me and wishes he could see more 😜”. Then in an unrelated text wherein he asked if I was working a specific day (I wasn’t) he told me “I love you baby girl. We’ll catch up later”. Is it just me or is this becoming red flag territory, or creepy? I don’t know. He’s way older than me and we’ve gotten on great this whole time, I hate to think bad of him. But calling me baby girl is weird for me. Can that be a platonic term maybe?
36 comments
Not platonic. Definitely trying to fuck you.
It’s a total red flag.
I think he’s interested in you romantically. I would let him know that you’re uncomfortable with the age gap and not interested in him that way!! I hope he can respect your boundaries, it sounds like you have a good friendship despite those things. If he is interested in you, you don’t necessarily have to think bad of him, just that you want different things. Definitely let him know you don’t like him calling you baby girl. I’ve had platonic friends use that term too but if you don’t like it, you’re allowed to say so!
lol.
If you consider the 58m wanting to start a fling with you as unambiguously as possible a red flag, then yeah.
Dudes lookin’ to bang.
He’s testing the waters trying to see if he can hit on you without getting a sexual harassment claim filed against him.
He’s failing at that. You should report him.
It definitely sounds like he is hitting on you, in a pretty distasteful way imo.
The guy literally said “I want to see more of you” and “I love you baby girl”, and (unless he is literally your father who hasn’t seen you in decades) I can’t see how that can be platonic.
“Baby girl” and “I love you” used together strongly suggests that his feelings are more than platonic.
You mentioned that you and he are unusually close. I wouldn’t call these “red flags” or “creepy” unless/until you’ve clarified with him that you view him as only a friend. There’s nothing wrong with being attracted to someone, and he may have misunderstood the nature of the relationship. If you correct him and he still wants to be friends and respects your boundaries, awesome. If not, then he’s a creep.
Yeah.. he’s not just in it to be your friend. He definitely wants to have sex with you. So yes red flag. Big red flag.
I think he’s not wanting it to stay platonic. “he has so much he wants to say to me but not while we’re coworkers” and “he wishes he could see more” and “I love you baby girl” are not things that I think would be said in a platonic relationship. Based on those statements I feel pretty confident that he’s wanting something sexual. If you don’t then I think you’d be best to avoid him after you stop working there.
It’s not just you, I would be super uncomfortable having to work with him anymore.
Report him to HR.
Seriously.
Yeah, he’s not interested in a platonic friendship.
Feel free to tell him that you thought he was a great mentor and a cool at work (grand)father figure.
Or just block him after you quit.
Ummmm baby girl and I love you are creepy coming from a 58 year old man. That’s not simple coworker talk. Gotta set some boundaries with this one
It’s creepy!!
May Day parade level red flags.
~~Report his arse.~~
He’s hitting on you. Yes it’s creepy.
So creepy.
Sooooooo creepy.
That’s actually sexual harassment in the workplace and they can and should be fired for this.
🚩Beep 🚩beep 🚩beep 🚩
🚩Ding 🚩ding 🚩ding 🚩
🚩Alert! 🚩Alert! 🚩Alert! 🚩
Just say to him I’m getting the feeling you want to be more than friends but I’m sorry I just don’t feel that way about you. He’ll probably deny it but will get the message.
Creepy af. Do not be alone with him outside of work, as he will see it as an opportunity to move on you.
Stay away from the creep and try to gently end the friendship before he gets more attached
Using Honorifics like “baby girl” without consent is creepy and highly disrespectful. Added to that the age difference and i think distance is the way to go here.
He was infatuated with a younger coworker but kept it professional. As long as he didn’t cross the line what is the problem. Here is a hint a large number of your guy friends will want to do more with you.
Creep. Stay away.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
I used to be a cashier at a sporting goods store. There was an older client who came in regularly. I had a boyfriend and was 18 while this dude was in his 50s i think, so not far off from you and Jack. He would bring chocolates and snacks to the employees regularly and would comment on how pretty I am and that I should dump my boyfriend. I always laughed it off and tried to be polite. It was my first full time job so I was too scared to tell people he was slowly making me feel more uncomfortable.
Months go by and he comes in now once or twice a week. Bringing me pizza and flowers. It was getting very noticeable how he was targeting me now. It all came to a frightening point when this dude was waiting for me outside the store at 10pm when we close and I’m supposed to walk to my car. Luckily, all the employees leave at the same time so the dude was met with like 10 of us. My awesome manager was already aware of the situation and told the guy he’s no longer welcome at the store.
He didn’t come back as far as I know and I quit a year later for unrelated reasons. But I should have set boundaries with that guy way before it ever got to that point. Learn from my mistakes and either tell someone about this or tell the guy you’re not into this. Or both!
I’m 58 and have kids older than you. He’s a creep. Do NOT see him outside of work.
Ask him to clarify
Even Russia does not that many red flags… 🚩
Gross
No that’s gross. You’re there to work not find a lover.
old papa is tryna score.
Red flags? Girl, this is a Soviet arms parade.
The fuck do you think lmfao, nasty old man trying it on with a girl more than half his age 🤢
Red flags? Yeah, one he’s trying to fuck. Two, he’s okay with fucking up the work place. Three, he’s not too intelligent because he’s more focused on getting his dick wet than getting the bag.
Yeah he is trying to be flirty
Just dont reciprocate. Jf it gets too much then cut contact.