I’m currently 23, no job, no real money coming in to save and no motivation to do anything. All I want to do from the moment I wake up is just sit on my ass all day at my computer and either play video games or consume some type of media. I’m pretty depressed with how my life is turning out as all my other friends are doing great for themselves while I just feel like a loser still living at home at 23 years old. I don’t know if I am overreacting about this or what, but I feel lost in life man. I don’t know what I want to do, I don’t know what I even should do to get myself on the right path and stop this endless cycle of gaming all the time.
30 comments
Gaming is addictive. I have the same issue but I make sure I find time for my fiancé and friends (although they game online too). You need to have a real think about what’s important to you. Go get advice on what work would suit you. Dedicate time away from the pc and if you can’t then seek help. I spend too much time gaming but it’s my escape rather than TV or reading etc. A therapist can help! Start making some money and look at moving out for a fresh start. Gaming is awesome you don’t need to give it up (it’s not like heroin…) but dial it down to make space for other things
1. Don’t compare yourself to others.
2. You feel like shit because you don’t have a job or money coming in. This is a societal problem! The emphasis on making money makes people out of work feel valueless.
3. Gaming is fun, of course people gravitate to it.
4. See a therapist, it might help
If you’re feeling this way it’s probably true. As someone who turned 30 this year let me tell you those next 7 years are going to fly by man. My biggest piece of advice would be to start an IRA and at the very least put the 6 grand a year max in it.
You’re going to blink and you’re going to be 30. Get your ass in gear and start making positive steps to build an adult life.
Dude I’m a software developer I get paid to sit at the computer and dick about with stuff ( also now have some people management and whatnot so it’s less fun now I’m lead) start doing some code courses and whatnot there’s tons online free and trials for things like udemy pluralsight and intro courses from Microsoft. Have a go it might be for you
Just another Reddit armchair mental health expert, but I think you buried the lede here. You say yourself that you think you are depressed. Working on that should be a priority.
Gaming itself is not (edit: or does not necessarily have to be) a problem, but it sounds like your excessive gaming is symptomatic of something bigger – perhaps depression. While gaming may be an escape, it is not ultimately a solution to your larger issues that you need to work out.
Popular wisdom is to see a professional. I can’t speak from experience on that point, but people say it can be life changing.
I was the same, spent half my life on football manager particularly… Eventually it all got boring, I have a PS4 that I struggle to play these days, partly due to no time (work, kids, wife, diy, etc…) and partly because no game interests me anymore.
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OP I was kind of like you as well when I was younger (around 24-25). What changed it around for me was getting a job and starting to do stuff besides playing games all the time. Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoyed playing games on my days off or before I went to work or after I got home but I didn’t let it get in my way. However your first step should be starting to do things that better yourself like getting a job, maybe even setup goals on what you’ll do with your first paychecks and beyond. If that’s too much try getting into different hobbies besides gaming, the more active the better (Like weight lifting and walking are two I enjoy nowadays).
In the end though it’s up to you, do you want to keep feeling useless and depressed because of you not doing anything? Or do you want to start trying to change yourself for the better? That’s something only you can really answer.
You’re not “pretty” depressed. You’re depressed. Like, the real deal.
It’s easy enough to fall into an addictive kind of cycle as a byproduct…and it’s perfectly possible the addictive stuff can take over the story, but the depression is the real issue.
You need some help on this one. All the advice below is good, but if you’re depressed you’re going to have a hard time following through on any of it, and then you’re going to be reposting in a month about how you can’t follow through.
You’ve done reddit therapy. Now try the real thing.
You realised. That the most important thing.
Many people do.
I lost about 10 years to video games.
I had to control myself, self-discipline, prioritise the longer-term important goals.
I passed certifications, progressed professionally, hit the gym, run, make little changes one step at time (not everything at once).
Gamify your life.
Go Full-steam RPG mode on you life, collect XP, points, do make things difficult. Hardcore mode. Life is the most beautiful game I know. Sometimes dull, but if you keep in target the long-term goal & making routine progress (once a day). These are the most important 2 things.
Don’t touch things that distract you from these goals. You know yourself now.
You learned to know yourself, to know what you want. It was a stage to go through. You could NOT tell yourself in the past “hey man, don’t do that”. No. Every human on earth goes through that, learning by oneself.
At 23, life is just starting.
Enjoy
I feel you. It’s a good thing you’re picking up on this now, gaming to me has to be earned imo after everything is done. I don’t know if anyone can really regulate their game time because modern games are meant to be addicting. Try something new? What are your other interests?
Sounds like you’ve got a lot to unpack. But at 23 you should be making some sort of effort to have money when you’re older.
You’re clearly asking for help. Im not gonna sugar coat it – you need to find a way to light a fire under your butt. You’re not behind. But you also don’t have a path.
Fast food will kill you.
Finding a more productive hobby that can take you away from the computer may help. Gaming isn’t bad entirely but if it’s all you do it will consume your life. I started woodworking this past year to break myself away from the computer and actually building stuff with my hands has been therapeutic in itself.
What I see a ton is that the media consumption and gaming urge feeds it self. It’s addicting man, and acknowledging that you have a growing addiction I think is key to changing.
I teach young people, and 100% of the time when one is depressed and talks to me, they tell me they spend heaps of time on therr phones, browsing FB and Insta.
Try a small thing, find a day, or a part of a day, and don’t use electronics. Don’t go crazy and go to the gym or stop cold turkey, just plan a span of time to not be on media and games.
Get a roofing job. No license, no tools, no experience? You’re hired!
Procrastinating is a way of coping with negative feelings. If this is difficult for you to stop it’s time to see your doctor to seek other options. It’s not a will power issue, it’s a using the wrong solution for the problem issue. What are other ways that you could use in order to release stress that would be better for you?
Step one is get a job so you have something other to exist for. Did you go to college?
I took a semester off once and it ended being a haze of gaming without much personal growth, so I learned that I need to force myself to work on something, which causes you to interact with real humans, which helps you find purpose.
23 is still young so you can turn things around quickly. You may need therapy for anxiety if the thought of working terrifies you.
I feel useless after invest my money in pc, i realized i waste my time playing videogames. I end up selling them, and buy myself a pair of running shoe and fitness tracker. I just started c25k. My life feels better, its like i have the purpose to live rn eventho i have shitty job. Try it buddy!
Well, then stop gaming. This isn’t hard.
I still game, just not nearly as much as I did when I was your age. Life happens and other things take precedence. I will say that when my shit is done and I find time to game, its way more rewarding than it ever was. Just find balance. Get a good job so you can be the guy to buy next gen systems early on. It’s not one or the other when it comes to gaming (i.e. hobbies) and “success”.
I’ve been there. You can get out of it. Start with something small. The first thing I did was I went to the beach for a day lol. But I think what helped me the most was getting a job. I got a job in a bar at the time. It’s pretty easy to find work right now in hospitality, construction, and warehousing. That’ll get you off the games for at least part of the week and get you in a better zone.
Join the military, you are still young enough to do that. It’ll give you the motivation and discipline you need if you don’t have a direction. And in a few years, you’ll be laughing at the old you.
I assume you live at home still? There’s going to come a time when your parents are going to die, it will happen, and you’ll need a way to support yourself and pay rent. You don’t want to be trapped in a situation where you have no options.
Or, set some small daily goals. Set an alarm to wake up every day at 8am. Do an hour of working out, and from there, start hitting up places to work for several hours everyday. ANY job part/full time is fine, swallow your pride if you don’t want to work fast food or crappy jobs, there’s nothing wrong with that (better than being unemployed). You need to start building up your good job history somewhere.
You can still play video games, but keep it at a few hours in the evening MAX. Get to bed early, because you have to wake up at 8am.
I mean if you’re really serious about getting out of this feeling-like-a-loser gaming rut that you’re in just get rid of all your games. Right now. Delete them, or uninstall them, or throw out the discs, or change the account passwords to some random string of letters you’ll never remember. Tell yourself that you can have your games back once you’ve made enough money to buy them again.
Yes there will be a void in your life without the games. Fill that void in with self-improvement. Go out and exercise once a day. Start studying for a computer certification if that’s the direction you want to go. If you don’t want to be studying, go out and spend time looking for a job, I feel like I’ve never seen so many places hiring in my life as I see right now. Hell you could even do both, get a part-time job somewhere and spend your free time studying for a certification. Make friends at your new job. Hang out with your friends from your new job. Maybe meet a nice girl or guy or whatever your into at the job, or through the friends you make there. Keep studying and get your foot in the door somewhere to start an actual career.
Or you can keep the games and just keep sitting at your computer with no direction.
It’s your life dude, you make the decision about what direction you want it to go in. Are keeping those games really worth it?
[Advice from the Godfather](https://youtu.be/7nqcgUDoV_M)
Fortunately, you’re young enough to make a complete change. At 23, I was still heavy on gaming. Hell, I was still living at home at 27 while I was in the accounting business.
You posted almost this exact same thing 2 weeks ago. I honestly don’t say this to be mean, but to be real. You’ve acknowledged the problem. The next step is action and only you can do that. Motivation needs to come from within. Set your goals, but break them down into baby steps so that they’re not overwhelming.
Job goal:
* **The goal shouldn’t be “Get a job”, but more along the lines of “What steps can I take over the next x years to put myself on the path I want/need?”**
* Do you know what you want to do? Do you know what you’re good at that could be profitable or stable? What steps do you need to take to get there?
* Do you want to work part time while trying to work on your main career goals? Can you do gig jobs a few hours a week while getting the education you need?
* You mentioned you may want to be a coder. You can get into a cheap course on a service like Udemy and see if it’s up your alley. I’ve seen friends work their ass off in graphic design gigs using only online educational courses. It takes a lot of time and effort, but was a fairly low-cost approach to building a career they were passionate about.
Social/Life goals:
* You mentioned you like cycling. With the pandemic ending, maybe look through Meetup and see if there are some casual cycling groups by you? It’ll get you out more socializing, networking, exercising, and accomplishing a tangible goal.
* Cooking: The internet is a fantastic place for learning to cook. If you like consuming media, switch to educational media about your passions. Learn to cook! [https://www.youtube.com/c/Learntocook](https://www.youtube.com/c/Learntocook) You also mention you eat a ton of fast food and that your parents are both disabled. I’m sure they’d be ecstatic if you’d cook the family meals and you’d save a ton of money by avoiding all that fast food.
* Do you have a garage and like tinkering with stuff? Maybe look into basic repairs/refinishing items (small engines, woodworking, etc). Get free or cheap used items from Craigslist and Facebook and see if you can flip em for profit. It’s not highly profitable and not a job, but could help you build some basic skills that can improve your life. You’ll want to have those skills if you ever own a house and ifyou enjoy it, you could even get more involved in that industry. There’s money even in lawn mower repair (spring tune-ups, blade sharpening, winterization).
Exactly like u/Positive_Ask_8656
mentioned, life itself is an RPG. Eventually, gaming itself becomes more mundane as you get older. There’s no physical reward in gaming and you realize that more and more as you age. Just like a regular RPG, you need to slowly keep investing in your character to progress towards your end game.
What you do in the next 10 years will have a resounding impact over the next 50 years. You’re young enough to handle more demanding work that can put you on the right path (physical work, longer hours). Just getting out there and doing *something* is a great start.
Create, not consume. Make this your motto. Take little steps and in some time you will start seeing light at the end of the tunnel.
Whenever you spend a lot of time consuming anything, remind yourself, to grow you must create as well. A tree grows by consuming nutrients and growing leaves. Consuming is important in itself, nutrition, knowledge, humour, academics, etc but making something out of it is even more important. Like improving your physique, your mental health, your financial health, and your surroundings.
Make small habits and you’ll go far. Good luck.
I know this feeling. I had pretty good success with implementing a basic rule: “any real life opportunity to spend time with other people trumps gaming.” So even though I often personally prefer gaming over hanging out or doing something, I decided that gaming has to take a back burner to IRL stuff. It’s also helpful because it makes me burn through games a little bit more slowly.
Also have you ever taken a 1-month break from all gaming? Try it!
Gaming is not the problem, the problem is you having time for games.
We’re driven by the need of something usually financial well being, and when that is not an immediate concern we tend to slack off, at least I do.
Put yourself or understand that at any time whatever you may have might be gone, all gone, what then do you have but your skills and knowledge? How would that help you tomorrow for you to put yourself in a better position? If you see no problem there, there is none.
It’s a matter of perspective of yourself in your surroundings.
You realizing there’s a problem is normal, or even beyond normal, people can always better themselves.
Happy people are content.
You’re an addict. Get some help. Seek some addiction counseling and find a program that works for you (there are many types out there).
Late response.
> I Feel Like I’m Wasting My Life Away On Gaming.
That’s because you are.
You’re a creature of habit – that means that you’ll take the path of least resistance. That’s not just you – that’s what all humams do to some extent. You need to break your habits for a little while.
The next time you feel shitty about yourself, take that time to make a list of the things you want to do – or at least the things you want to see changed. After you make that list, break it into smaller tasks that you can achieve more easily.
Finally, after you’ve finished your list, take your computer apart. Unplug it, open the case, take the drives out, graphics cards, everything. Put it in your closet. Turn the monitor around.
When you wake up the next morning and you want to take the path of least resistance, it won’t be there. When you feel that shock and you remember what happened, think about why. Look at your list and try to do one thing to get you towards your big goals.
TL;DR: Shake it up, forcefully. Change your surroundings to break out of a negative pattern. Good luck.