Basically I (F21) hate bjs. I’ve only given them to my current bf (M23) and I just can’t understand how some girls like it. He has a very wide girth and I have a small mouth, and his entire penis touching every surface in my mouth does not feel good. I’m pretty sure I just don’t like the taste of his precum and the taste of his skin. Idk how to describe it other than salty and fleshy. I’ve gagged a lot trying to stomach it. Is there any way I can do to improve my endurance or preference to it? More exposure to it maybe? I love getting him off, I just can’t suck him off without gagging.
3 comments
There are flavored lubes/products that you could try for the taste. And maybe baby steps are needed too. perhaps start with bj’s that are mostly a hand job interspersed with using your mouth, try to focus on his pleasure instead of the physicality of it, slowly increase your exposure to the sensations you’re adverse to. If he produces a lot of precum, maybe having a way to wipe it away every once in a while.
Also try to be ok with the fact that you may not be able to desensitize yourself to it. If it doesn’t get easier over time, there’s nothing wrong with finding other ways to pleasure him that don’t cause you so much discomfort.
First up, just in case you need to hear this, you don’t have to do anything you don’t like and there should be no pressure on you to perform blowjobs.
But the following might help if you want to be able to give him bjs.
Taste: is he clean? You could try initiating a bj in the shower. Get all soapy together and start using your hands on him first. Then obviously rinse off before going down. When I was younger the idea of dick in my mouth grossed me out a bit and shower bjs helped me mentally. Even if he was already clean. Of course there will still be precum. If he tastes particularly bad it could be due to his diet (or smoking/drug use).
Another option to get past the taste is to incorporate food. Cover that D in Nutella then go to town licking it off.
Arousal. I started to like giving bjs when it became something I did when very aroused rather than just something I was doing for him. Have him get you close to orgasm first (or get yourself there) then go down on him when your in that highly aroused state. Mentally it can feel like your desperately need to make him come so that you can get back to your own orgasm. (Hopefully he’s down to help you get off once he’s done.) Using a vibrator on yourself while you blow him can be fun.
Try just doing it without a goal in mind. You might make him cum or you might switch to PIV or he could finish by jacking off. You don’t need to deep throat or even fully take him on your mouth. Try long licks up the shaft. Get it wet with your saliva and use your hands around the base/shaft. Run your tongue around the tip. Rub the flat of your tongue on the underside of his shaft just below the head. Tell him to tell you if he is close so you don’t have to worry about him blowing in your mouth.
Another thing that helped me like it is the guys reaction. Pay attention to how he is responding. Take it slow. See how he likes you touching his balls, kissing his inner thigh, etc. Ask him if it feels good. A big turn on for me is knowing I’m driving him wild and it feels more powerful than submissive. You’re in charge here. (You might not have the same turn ons as me tho.) Good communication, trust, and no pressure are needed for bjs to be enjoyable for me. You might be putting pressure on yourself. Give yourself permission to go slow and find ways of using your mouth on him that feel good for you. Be sure to communicate to him anything that would help your comfort or enjoyment. I.e. no hands on my head, words of affirmation, position, etc.
Oh, and you could blow him with a condom on.
FWIW I found bjs kind of icky when I was younger and now I love them (with the right person). No shower or condom required any more and I love deep throating. But it took time and hooking up with guys who really cared about my enjoyment and comfort level. Also I think in time I just mentally got past the gagging/taste barrier – being really aroused just made me not think about it so much maybe.
Assuming his hygiene is in check, it’s entirely possible you two are not sexually compatible and those pheromones are messing things up.
15 years together, and when I go down on my man, I’m getting aroused too. I love his smell and my engine revs as I’m doing my thing and it turns me on, so to speak.
Mind you, you don’t HAVE to give head, many women don’t like it… and ostensibly plenty of guys can take it or leave it—but many men expect to get it.