Just coming here for some thoughts from y’all. I know that it’s good to work on yourself rather than being so overly attached and clingy to your SO, but for some reason, i have this thought/fear that if I start working on myself, We will slowly but surely start to drift apart. That’s why I want to always(reasonably)be with my partner both emotionally and physically. Don’t get me wrong, Ive hung out with friends/family and do my own thing time to time, but most of the time I want to be with my partner. Any thoughts on this?
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Also for context, my partner is an introvert and im an extrovert
What is it you need to work on? Why do you feel you might be avoiding doing the things to improve you? (Besides the relationship reason)
I think it’s okay to want to be with your partner, but you shouldn’t make them your entire being and derive your sense of self from your attachment to them.
Plus, working on yourself could make you more attractive in their eyes. And it will prevent you from becoming upset if they need to spend time away from you either at work for extended hours or if they choose to go out with friends without you, because you’ll have your own things to do in the meantime.
Research different attachment styles in relationships, I’ve never understood my emotions or my relationship as hard as I have after researching more about my attachment style.
I can relate to you too. It’s ok. I wouldn’t beat myself up over it. I also go to the gym, I am trying to learn how to sing, and I play the guitar. I also go to school lol so i think I’m pretty occupied. I’m also trying to become a personal trainer. All while doing these things, I still feel anxious without my gf at times. We live together now which is better but before that, it was hard for me. Might take other strategies or maybe even therapy