I’ve been going on dating apps dates for three months now, on and off.
Half of the guys I’ve dated were nice, even though I didn’t see them as “boyfriend” material but they ghosted me after a few dates or told me they were not ready for a relationship. For one of them, we did kiss and he seemed super into me and then just blew me off.
Now I met this guy, saw each other twice in a week, he said he had a great time!! Was a gentlemen, and now he’s not replying to me so I know he’s probably gonna ghost me again. He didn’t even try to kiss me so it’s not like he’s looking for sex. But he did tell me I was cute and was flirting so it’s contradictory.
And I feel like I’m entering a loop. A few good dates go by, I get good feedback, they’re NOT active on Bumble, but they drift away or ghost. And it’s not like I’m completely invested but it does feel shitty because I genuinely liked them and believed them everything was going well.
I just feel energy drained from these interactions. Has this ever happened to you? How do you even believe and maintain hope?
19 comments
Ghosting has unfortunately become the ‘norm’. Women do it to me all the time, even before we meet we’ll be having great convo then they disappear / stop replying. Hell, last year I was even ghosted my girlfriend of 3 years…. lol
It makes you stronger. Ghosting is pretty much expected for OLD. Everybody goes through this. There could many reasons why they do it. Could be they’re not serious, seeing another person thats better for them, social anxiety, poor communication. This is why its important to learn how to control your expectations. Anything can happen.
It’s all about what really matters. We pick what is most important. What is most important from a relationship standpoint is putting in your best effort and seeing where it goes.
Relationships that last a very short time weren’t really relationships. Focus your time and energy into the good things, not the bad things. Ghosting really doesn’t deserve a second thought.
Welcome to the world of online dating..
you have to assume everyone is dating other people. And if you like them.. then you have to just hope you’re the favourite.
But you won’t make the cut every time.
Don’t expect an explanation when you don’t.
and try not to waste your time trying to figure out the why’s.
Catch them in the act and ghost them right back..ghost them so fucking hard
Being ghosted has no effect on me these days. In the past, I always wondered if it was something I said wrong.
Don’t let it get to you. If you get ghosted, just move on.
Don’t let it effect you. Look into the future, you will see heartache and disappointment, now come back, and you will see the things that will cause it.
Everything will be your source of pain. Get rid of it all
Once it happens so much, you stop caring. You get less and less attached each time until it eventually distorts your view on men. ultimately leading you to view men as disposable, rather than a human being. Which is why I don’t care.
Being ghosted is just apart of society. The only way to cope is to feel what you need to feel and get to not let it effect any future opportunities. People are assholes and emotionally immature. Then ghosting you is then doing you a favor
Change your perspective. Don’t think if it as what did you do wrong. Think of it as these guys are immature and lack conversational skills. Do you really want someone like that in your life?
I know the feeling, really feels like I’ll never find someone who acts like an actual adult anymore but I keep trying.
After I realized that dating is a game of number.
There’s no such thing as ‘the one’ (or at least, very rare) and I believe I’ve been brainwashed by the many romanticized stories in the media.
Ghost them back
It’s just part of the game. Dont make dating your whole life purpose and ghosting will just be another thing.
It might help if you establish early on that you are only looking for a long term relationship. I feel like casual daters are more likely to ghost you. Someone looking for a long term relationship goes into OLD with a different mind set and is more likely to give the relationship time to grow. You will have to state it directly though when they first contact you. I have it in my profile and I still get guys just looking for a hook up. I started seeing someone I really like and just stopped going on the app completely. Neither of us believe in multidating and that really takes the pressure off so it doesn’t feel like a competition for either of us.
Just dont get emotionally invested early. & i cannot stress this enough – do NOT sleep with men prior to 5 or 6 dates.
If it’s any consolation, the act of ghosting is immature and is a poor reflection of their character imo.
They just felt uncomfortable being in your world so they decided to escape from it. That’s their decision. Kindly, respect the deceased and move on.
I choose to look at it like a gift. These people showed me, with minimal investment, that they’re shitty people and I didn’t have to lose months or years to find out they’re uncivil, cowardly, or not for me.
That does help me get over whatever small disappointment there is. But, I also choose not to invest in people until more than a few dates. No one is worth it at first. NO. ONE.
Externalizing your self-worth and happiness to app-strangers is always going to be a bad idea.
You feel like shit for a bit then eventually get over it. Accept that you’re just gonna feel crappy for a while.
We know when we’re being used for free food and that we can buy it at any massage parlor