I’ve been both. Here’s my take on dating either group.
**People who don’t get a lot of positive attention**
These people are much happier to get compliments, and freely give them out. It’s not uncommon for these people to use compliments and positive attention as a grab to receive the same treatment in response.
These people are more likely to see someone who walks up and talks to them out of the blue as a romantic option.
People like this are somewhat easy to start a relationship with, but their egos aren’t awesome, so you need to be a bit more cautious at first about building them up, since it’s very, very easy to make a mistake and leave one of these types of people with a major insecurity about something weird like having small earlobes or something.
Build these people up until they don’t have to worry about whether you like them or not. Hold their hand in public, pick them up and bring flowers, introduce them as your significant other to your friends. If someone’s not used to this sort of stuff, you can totally take the lead until they’re ready to acknowledge their own value.
If one of these relationships end, making sure they know that it’s not because of something wrong with who they are is very important.
**People who do get a lot of positive attention**
Compliments mean much less. They’re judging the complimenter on their motives much more shrewdly, since there isn’t a deficit of positive attention to be had. Their compliments are few and far between, but much more sincere, since there’s not much that can be gotten from a compliment that can’t just be gotten by asking for it.
These people don’t want to be put on a pedestal at all. They want to be known. If you can actually get to know someone like this and treat them like a human, they’re more likely to want to be with you than if you treat them like a beautiful, perfect statue that must never be tarnished. Tarnish the dang statue. Take that statue to your nerdy conventions, barbecues, random snooty nearby golf courses where you aren’t *technically* allowed in but you can try to talk your way past in posh accents and laugh when it fails. High quality stuff. Get to know their friends, participate in their hobbies, and genuinely enjoy life with them just as a friend.
And if it so happens that this person develops an interest in you, they will let you know. They’re probably not particularly afraid of rejection.