My wife and I were invited to my cousin’s surprise birthday party. There were many people there that attended the party family, friends, friends of the family, etc. While standing at the bar to get drinks, my wife stood directly next to my left. Suddenly she moved to my right facing towards the line. As I got our drink order and turned to hand her the drink, I noticed that she was moving very flirty while getting the guy ( someone I actually knows) in line behind me to read her lips. I was surprised by her actions and felt very ashamed and disrespected. I kept my calm and let her know that I caught what she was doing but I didn’t blow my top.
After the trip was over and we made it home, I let her know that it unacceptable and I’ve never felt so embarrassed and that it was over.
Questions:
Do you all feel flirting while married/committed relationship is a deal breaker?
Did I overreact?
14 comments
Well it depends how you feel about it. Do you feel asif she crossed a line and made you uncomfortable?
It definitely could be a dealbreaker. But a one-time occurance may yet not have to mean the end of your marriage. It all comes down to how she responds to your feelings on this.
You have to make your own decision at the end.
I couldn’t stand being with a partner that’s willing to flirt with others, unless it was something I knew was part of her personality and we talked about before.
you didn’t over react, for the first part. you told her you saw what happened without throwing a tantrum, good. i 100% agrée with you. your wife should not have flirted with somebody else period.
what i would have done differently, was sit her down, and tell her that it made you upset and ask her why she did it. after that, she can apologize and promise to never do it again, or tell you that you’re overreacting. depending on her response, you can then decide what to do with your relationship.
It’s a deal breaker for me. My husband use to be a HUGE flirt. I told him that wouldn’t fly with me and I’m surprised how well he committed to not being a flirt anymore.
Huge deal breaker. I’m not even married and let my boyfriend pull some crap like that. He’d be single quicker than he can say sorry.
Did you ask her what she was mouthing to the guy?
How is she reacting to it?
If she’s openly flirting with you right next to her, I would have a hard time believing there wasn’t more going on behind your back. Sucks but looks like it’s time for detective mode to come out.
Is flirting a deal breaker FOR YOU?
If it is, it is! Simple. Different people have different boundaries!
Yes. flirting has so many intangibles that can depend on things that are hard to list. But male female connotations and subtle insinuations of hints of a sexual overtone and obvious ones can be very disrespectful to your partner.
As can acting intimate enough that your partner feels like the odd person out.
Not neccessarily a deal breaker. Possibly, but it could be just some boundary tweaks need to be ageed to.
For some, it is a deal breaker. For others, it’s not. But that doesn’t matter because it’s a deal breaker for you. That’s enough validation to break up if you want to
updateme!
You caught her hands in the cookie jar. It was a matter of time. She got caught. Leavings her is the best thing for you.
If you find it disrespectful it is
You can set your boundaries to what you want