My husband told me tonight he’s only a shallow person who like to watch marvels movie instead of best Oscar movie. Not like me cuz I have a fancy degree. (He’s high school graduated)
I should known don’t have perfect marriage in this world but Even if we madly in love in general, it break my heart. I feel like it’s a big problem for me and him deep down in our 2 years marriage.
My family esp my father don’t like him, they are all well educated (doctor, PHD) and my family in law are more blue collar. I feel stress when they need to meet and try to avoid this kind of situation.
I am not sure if I can continue even if I love my husband. We talked about it before and we also avoid to talk about that in a serious matter.
I never criticise his action and his words. I just see it as every guys won’t like to watch brokeback mountain and love story. I will watch Marvels movie with him and I enjoy it.
This education background just kinda bother him and he will bring it up once in a while. I will tell him in a joke way my rubbish degree doesn’t matter cuz I am a loser that I earn less money than my husband.
But it’s really bother me deep down. Sometimes Our interest is different and I don’t know if I will say something it’s out of his comfort zone and made him feel dumb. Also Esp some stressful from my family. I kinda lie to my family my husband is a boss from a small company but he just works as a blue collar worker. I don’t want my family look down on him. They won’t see each other anyway maybe only once in a year when I have my birthday.
Marriage is not perfect but isn’t like this? I am not sure.
8 comments
For family has to be told to lay off your husband.
Tell the truth, that he makes more than you do.
Let them know there is nothing good about being an intellectual snob.
And lately, most Oscars go to boring stories that nobody watches.
You don’t know if you can love your husband because of this? Then that’s your answer, you don’t really love him.
My husband did not graduate college and is in a trade, while I have a business degree. Honestly, I really think my husband is more intelligent than me. Sometimes I’m blown away by his knowledge. I would never think less of him for his career.
Your parent’s view on his job is toxic and if their opinion of him matters so deeply that it affects how you feel about him, again, that doesn’t sound like you truly love him.
As a non-degreed husband, I understand your husband’s side and I also understand your side because my wife has Bachelor and Masters degree. My wife makes more than me, but by 20K difference…which to me, she better be making more than me since I don’t have a degree. At the same time, for not having a degree, I make great income.
There were times my wife would bring up the subject of me going back to school and getting a degree. While I do enjoy school and learning, college didnt work out for me. I was bored fast with all the required courses. I was more interested in certifications in IT than in a 4-year degree.
It does get annoying that at one point she was bugging for me to go back to school. As if what I do now as work and income wasnt good enough for her. I’m sure that’s how your husband feels at some level if I’m reading your post correctly.
My wife’s education never bothered me nor made it an issue. However, at the start of our marriage, she was the one bringing it up and that’s what bothered me the most. I didnt care for a degree, but she did.
While I do think education is important, but seems like your family are HUGE education snobs. I’m sure they care what kind of man you’re involved with, but at the same time, seems like <in a snobby voice>, “well daughter, what kind of degree does he have and how many?” All while sipping on some wine. 😂
If it was me, I would be like F your family, I’m with you not them. If they dont like me, they can F themselves.
You love the man that he is, not the man you think he should be or your family thinks he should be.
I would ask for a refund for that “fancy degree”.
So your husband loves you. Presumably treats you well. Makes more than you… But you aren’t sure about your marriage because he doesn’t have as high of an education as you and he prefers marvel movies over brokerback mountain? ………
So first education level should have very little to do with love. If he has all the other traits appreciate what you have. Stick up to him to your family-be in his corner.
Richard Branson dropped out of high school. Bill gates, Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg, Michael Dell and many more extremely successful people (by most standards) never graduated college.
I am much more focused on building good character in my kids than what education level they achieve. I would advise you to stop focusing on the education level and start focusing on who he is.
I’m sorry, but since when was a degree required for marriage? My husband and I don’t have the same education level. That has nothing to do with our love for each other or our common interests and goals.
OP, I think you should provide some context on what country she’s in. I’d be surprised if you’re in an English speaking country with a fancy degree.
In my country for instance, the disparity between educated and uneducated folks would be pretty glaring. For example, English is the official language but only educated folks would have a good command of English while intelligent folks that didn’t go to college would defer to “pidgin English” or our native languages. You rarely find both categories of people marrying because of how our society is structured. In the US or UK, you can find blue collar workers who speak intelligently, can contribute to conversations in polite company, etc. If you’re in a society like that and he earns a decent amount and makes you happy, why does it matter that he doesn’t have a degree? With regards to your family, why would you sacrifice your happiness for people he meets once a year? You need to first respect your husband and talk about him in good esteem so that your family can do the same.
Lastly, who cares about Oscar movies? I’m very educated and also a chartered accountant, work with a multinational, etc but I don’t watch Oscar movies. I didn’t even realize that was a bougie thing. Learn to respect your husband as an individual and focus on how he makes you feel. You chose him knowing fully his level of education so he deserves to be accorded respect – both from you and your family.
I wonder with all of there posh degrees, doctorates and other i’m better than you education who of them can actually knows how to use a screw driver and do basic services around there house. Usually they are so clever educated but useless at basics. They cover there lack of basic skills by telling you how well there educated they are, position in the company and earnings. The only way they know how to get things done is thru cacashso there snobbery is to cover there in real truth is ignorance!