Can sex make or break a relationship?

29 comments

1. Sexual chemistry is probably one of the most important parts of a relationship

2. Yes, sexual incompatibility can break a relationship.

3. Absolutely.

4. Sex is half of a relationship for me, the other half being chemistry/personality/conversation.

   Both halves need each other. Sex just for sex is not satisfying to me – it’s about the brain and heart as much as the tits and pussy.

5. Make one? I don’t think so, there’s got to be a friendship and something more than just sex.

   Break one, absolutely.

6. Absolutely.

7. 100% it can. It is one of only a couple of things where your needs cannot be met outside the relationship for monogamous couples. So if you’re not compatible with how much sex you have and what you do together then it’s very difficult to fix.

   Also if you keep bringing an issue to your partner and they’re just ignoring or dismissing it then that’s not good recipe for a happy or long relationship either.

8. Without a doubt, it’s important. It’s important to remember, libido does change. It’s not always a constant and is affected by many things. What is also important is effort. One shouldn’t feel pressured into doing something more than they desire and the other shouldn’t have to be unhappy all the time due to a lack. But it both people are attacking the problem together and have the other’s happiness as s priority, you should be able to find a happy middle. This can take time.

   You must also consider your happiness with the relationship overall. There will almost always be struggles, no matter who you are with. They have to be worth the struggle to you.

   There really are many things to think through before deciding to end a relationship, give it the time it deserves.

9. depends a lot on the level of it not working. if it’s “just ok” I’d say not.
   If it’s openly bad and not getting better over time yes it is a dealbreaker

10. Sex is not the root of happiness. But the absence of it can sure make you miserable. Avoid mismatched libidos.

11. Break. I have to have or don’t bother. I have an extremely high sex drive and need someone who matches that with passion.

12. Absolutely. It took me a while to learn that it’s okay to care about sex and to prioritize it in a relationship, but it is definitely okay. If sex matters to you, then of course it could affect your relationship for better or for worse.

13. Indeed everyone is different. I’ll go out on a limb here and say that most men want a partner who will meet their sexual needs and that is one of the primary reasons they want to be in long-term relationships and marriages. Most men translate sex into intimacy, not words, not gestures, not spirituality. I can’t imagine a man going into a relationship thinking, we’ll have great sex for a couple years, then we will get married, after we get married i don’t need anymore blowjobs, we’ll still have sex sometimes because we want to make babies, after we’re done making babies, we’ll be so busy working and taking care of them that we’ll just be too tired to have sex, and i’ll be okay with only having sex on my birthday and our anniversary, twice a year, that sounds great! Men don’t think like that, at least not any men that I know. We would think, the opposite. We’d do all those things… because we want our partner to be happy and fulfilled. In turn, we hope that our partner would want to do the same for us and keep us happy and fulfilled, as much as possible.

14. I think you both need to work at resolving your differences before calling it a day.

15. Don’t waste your time to people who frustrate you.

16. Yes! Compatibility is a huge issue, and lack of it is definitely grounds for ending a relationship.

    Having said that: rare is the couple that is 100% in synch, sexually. Many people find compromises that can keep the happiness alive.

    However, if a person’s needs are never being met, and there’s no chance of getting the okay to discreetly look elsewhere (Dan Savage has a lot to say about this) then it’s okay to move on.

17. Sex is important but isn’t the most important, if I am married and me and my wife have a good chemistry outside the bed I would never live her because we don’t have an amazing sex life. Once I marry you, you are everything to me, the mother of my children, the guardian of the house, the person that support me in life and the the person I want be with in this life and the other.

18. if you want my honest opinion, yes, lack of sex can and HAS broken several relationships. most people like to think they’re above this but at the end of the day people eventually default to their primal instinctual nature and if they aren’t being sexual satisfied they’ll either end up cheating or end the relationship. it may not happen immediately but the countdown has begun. welcome to human nature and several thousand years of biology

19. Absolutely

20. If the sex is bad then it’ll most likely lead to less sex, you both falling out with each other more and probably ruin the relationship in my opinion

21. Simple, yes. Sex can make or break it

22. Broke mine. Badly.

23. In the context of a mid to long term monogamous relationship. Sex is one of the “pillars” that are necessary for things to be good.

    I’d say those things are:

    * shared value
    * mutual respect
    * sex and chemistry
    * intimacy (sexual and otherwise)
    * communication and enjoying each other’s company, liking each other.

    By themselves, each of these things is perhaps 20% of the relationship, *when it’s working well*. When there is a disconnect any one of these things can derail the relationship.

    So, good sex alone won’t “make” a relationship (beyond a FWB one), but poor sexual alignment can certainly end one.

24. Yes. I get very upset and moody without quality sex which then affects every other part of the relationship for the worse. If it’s not the most important thing, it’s damn close.

25. Every person is different… their needs their wants… finding someone who matches your energy is the toughest but best thing in the world, if you can find that one… it’s never ok to settle for less than you’re willing to have…

26. You’re asking on THE sex subreddit if sex is important 🙂 yes, absolutely, to many people it is. To others, less so. To a few, not at all. Sex to me is one of the most intimate physical and emotional experiences one can share with a partner. And if that wasn’t being fulfilled in a relationship, it would definitely be reason to leave.

27. No amount of sex will hold a relationship. There needs to be compassion for each other and emotional bond.

28. For me it’s like this: when the sex is good, it’s about 10% of the relationship. But when it is bad, it is 90%. If that makes sense.

29. Yes and it should be a large factor. Sexual fulfillment is important.