My life is pretty sedentary. I have some online friends but there’s literally nobody I can hang out with IRL. My one friend basically ghosted me for years and then joined the military. My other friend got engaged and stopped hanging out with me entirely. I really don’t go out or do anything. Pretty much just sit in my room bored out of my mind 24/7. The days all bleed together. My room has become like a prison. Life is moving alarmingly fast, it’s already July and I’ve barely even gone outside this whole summer. I just sit here feeling really lonely and devoid of any human contact. I want to go out and do things, but I truly don’t know where to go. Very little goes on in my town and there’s very few people my age around here. I also struggle with social anxiety which makes it harder to do even the most routine things.
That said, I really don’t want to let my social anxiety stop me from getting out and living my life. I just don’t know where to go. Sometimes I’ll grab my wallet and keys excited to go somewhere…but then I reach the door and stop thinking “but where the fuck am I gonna go?” and then after debating with myself for several minutes I give up and resign myself back to my room. I’ve been suggested things like coffee shops, bookstores, and parks. But I don’t really know how to meet people in those environments, let alone keeping myself entertained. I’d feel awkward trying to talk to someone in these places, where everyone is with their friends or just doing their own thing wanting to be left alone. I’ve tried going out to bars on the weekends but usually the music is so damn loud that I can’t even talk to anyone there. And whenever I’ve tried, most people were either busy with their own friends, or turned aggressive, or just weren’t interested. I’ve looked into meetup groups but I found nothing that seemed to align with my interests and most groups were outside of my age bracket.
I wish I could find a place, with people like me who were just alone and looking to mingle and make friends. A place where it didn’t feel awkward trying to approach someone, where I wasn’t interrupted by loud music or aggressive people, where people weren’t busy with their own social circle. I just don’t know where that is. Any advice for me?
2 comments
Volunteer work (food banks, children’s groups, animal shelter pick something that means something to you so you’re more likely to meet like minded people)? Sport clubs (maybe pick something a bit different – yoga, rock climbing etc. If you don’t already have a sport you’re into). Hobby groups (eg Warhammer). Meetup groups in your area. Local politics if you have an issue you’re into. Adult education class (learn a language or new skill)
Get out there and do as many activities as you can. Choose stuff that links to your personality so you have a chance to meet like minded people. Don’t go expecting to meet a best friend but view it as a chance to work on your social skills and boost your confidence.
I like reading books. From time to time I leave my cave and go to the park and start reading a book. Sometimes I get lucky, and a fellow reader approaches me, we have a nice talk and maybe become friends.
Also, the thing about loud music not being your thing, I can relate, but, you should still go there from time to time because maybe there is another person who also doesn’t like loud music but is there to make friends.