I’ve been seeing a girl for about two months now. She has been very clear that she doesn’t want me to latch onto her (we speak Spanish in the relationship and the word we would use is *enganchar*). Anyways, that’s all well and good but I feel like she is sort of pushing the bounds of the relationship towards something more serious.
Examples would be her inviting me to watch her perform in an event she did (she is a dancer in a local company) or inviting me to meet some close friends. The tipping point was when she invited me over to her house to meet her family. She was really clear before I came over that she was inviting me as a friend, and so I showed up totally expecting to not be physical and to just spend the night with her parents and siblings talking or whatever. Then when I showed up, she was leaning her head on me and being touchy and apparently it was fully expected by everyone (besides me) that I would spend the night with her.
For context, I’m outside of the U.S. in a country that is much more liberal with dating and open relationships. On top of that, we both move in radical left spaces where monogamy is almost frowned upon and its fairly rare for people to place titles on things as it is viewed as kind patriarchal and backwards. We had a conversation in which we both agreed we wanted to continue seeing other people, however I am sort of wondering, what does it even mean that we are just friends, and where, if anywhere can/should things go from here?
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Edit: For clarity we are very much sexually involved
2 comments
Lol. That was confusing as heck.
Idk dude, y’all are making it up as you go or at least she is.
Clearly she’s in the driver’s seat and you’re just coming along for the ride.
-If you’re ok with that, be prepared for arbitrary changes and how she defines things.
-just looks like she’s keeping her options open by not sticking to agreed upon definitions
In my experience that phrase rarely means let’s actually be friends. My exes I still consider friends were friends before we started dating. The exes that offered me friendship that weren’t my friends before were just using it as a way to make them feel better about the breakup. I haven’t heard from anyone of them since they said this.