Wife has decided she wants to live seperately in same house for both financial and less complications reasons. Keep our family unit together.
We still love each other but have grown apart after 30 years. We don’t have the same friends or interests. She’s having a mid life crisis she has friends that have died and she wants to live free of obligation
I agree as we were immigrants to the USA and have built a successful life together. She is a professional and I have a successful e-commerce company. We both contribute equally. I really don’t care about money. Everything is for our kids.
We both just want to be happy. I must reiterate she brought this up. Not me.
Has anyone lived like this and with what success?
I think I can handle it with one condition. If you meet someone else don’t bring them to our home. If it goes beyond that then we revisit.
Any input.
Thanks
6 comments
Sounds like you have it figured out.
My wife and I have some friends we know through a local charity we do some work with.
This couple is really great, both in their mid-50s, together for 30 years, kids are on the verge of all leaving the nest, and they get along well. We invited them out for dinner last Christmas and they told us that they’d been living a lifestyle like you’ve outlined for about six or seven months. She stayed in the master bedroom and he converted his home office in the basement into a bedroom, they are friends and love one another, but she wanted more freedom. So they could do whatever they wanted, agreed to safe sex with other people, nobody could be brought to their home, but they were still having sex periodically if they felt like it.
I bumped into him at the hardware store about six weeks ago and asked him how it was going. He said that they were renovating their lake home together and were going to spend the back half of the summer up there together.
I was surprised and said that I thought they were just doing their own thing.
He laughed and said that they were but he was having quite a bit of success meeting women. He was going out on dates three or four nights a week and had found a few women that he was getting to know more intimately on a regular basis, casually.
His wife decided she wasn’t comfortable with the new arrangement and asked him to reconsider. So he moved back into their bedroom and they closed their marriage back up.
She got jealous. Hahaha. She thought she would play the field, he might go on a few dates, but the reverse was true and she struggled with it.
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My husband and I live like this. Married ten years, separated 4 years ago. We have a daughter together. We share the same house, hang out and coparent, but we live completely separate life’s. Like you, do not bring a someone home. It honestly works. Friends etc would never guess our living arrangements. We are both so much happier, and still love each other. Just no sex and no obligations. We are happy and so is our daughter. It’s not conventional, but who cares these days. Go for it. We even communicate better. Good luck
Sounds like it’s going to fall apart as soon as someone finds romance.
I can think of better roommate situations. I would not be ok with this. She cannot have the financial security of a marriage but not the obligations.
Called having your cake and eating it too.
Not an arrangement I would want at all. Even if we decided we had no future intimately and I was ok with that part, I’d never be fully able to pursue something meaningful with anyone else as long as long as we lived like this. I’m not interested in ONS, flings, or FWB and I can’t see many people being ok trying to get into a meaningful relationship with someone living like this. Could miss someone great for you because they move on before before getting to know each other.