ORIGINAL THREAD: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/vwk859/my_wife_29f_told_me_31m_that_she_has_no_sexual/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Hey folks. I know a few people asked for an update, so here it is.
We are getting divorced. It was decided the day after I posted. We both mutually decided that the future of our relationship was either worse heartbreak down the road or a purgatory of resentment and anger for the rest of our days, watching what remains of our youth and lives go by stuck in a pit of angst together. We have both hurt each other time after time after time again and the pain had only begin to increase as we both grew into very different people.
It is amicable. Friendly even. We are staying in the apartment together through the end of the lease (in two and a half months) and then we are done. I still love her, and in fact didn’t know how much until she said the words: that it was over. It can’t continue even though we still both care for each other. The best way I can show the love I still have for her is in making this divorce as easy as I possibly can.
I hope she has a good life. I hope she finds what she wants in the big, scary world outside of the ruins of what we built together. I will miss her, but I would rather miss her than resent her for the rest of my life.
I want to thank everyone who dropped their advice. Most of it was good, some of it was great, and some of it was dogshit, but that’s reddit dot com for you.
10 comments
I read the original story. That’s fucked up to lie about something like that.
But the upside is that you’re 31. Which is really young still and you literally have your whole life ahead of you to start over.
Try to find someone that cannot get enough of you, sexually.
I have no clue why everyone wanted you to stay with someone who waste your time with a fake relationship.
Look after yourself OP and once the dust settles, take some time for yourself before you go looking for another relationship.
I’m sorry, man. I hope you bounce back.
On a positive note, you will definitely now be able to find someone who has the same sex drive as you.
Really sorry you have to go through this. I know it doesn’t help right now, but all this is truly for the best.
The next chunk of time is going to suck. You’re going to hurt, you’re going to feel like a failure, you’ll blame yourself and ask over and over “what could I have done different??”. All of this will pass, I promise. You will gain perspective over the coming months, and begin to feel better about the situation. You’ll never feel “good” about it, but you’ll be happy that both of you were brave enough to make the right decision, protect each other in the process, and part as friends.
Be strong, focus on you and being an unattached man again. You’re very young, so you have lots of time to explore your options. And hey, remember a very important benefit of this decision; you get to date someone that actually physically wants you! No more feelings of resentment, no more obligation sex, none of that. The next time you have sex, it will be because the person WANTS to have sex with you!
A good outcome OP, well done
Check please
Saw that one but skipped it, you’d already gotten some quality advice.
It’s unfortunate that she wasn’t open and honest much earlier in your relationship. That said, there are a lot of amazing people out there, and you’ll find someone who wants you and shared your values.
Me, 35m, recovering fat guy and I don’t have issues finding amazing people to share time and energy with.
Why divorce her ? You’re already this far along, why not keep her as a wife and get a girlfriend that you can play with? Shit, she can have a boyfriend for emotional support if it all works out 👍
In all seriousness I think you guys made the right call. I can’t imagine losing my girlfriend, probably wouldn’t be handling it as mature as you both are.
I hope you both find what you’re looking for. Good luck, sir!