How can someone be better ? I’m socially awkward i don’t know how to talk to people or how to keep in contact with them. Most of the people i know i haven’t talked to in long time. my overthinking and anxiety have gotten way worse, i keep wondering if these people are actually my friends or not and if they were than how long is it gonna last .i just want to be better and i don’t know how so i came seeking for help so any advice would be appreciated .
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You likely would benefit from therapy, but if that’s unappealing try the following methods: get into the habit of asking people about themselves and keep a low level track of what’s going on. I.e. dog not well? Later on ask about the dog. Try to reach out at least once a week. If you get ignored drop them and move on. Keep a journal of what’s good in your life to help remind you what to say when people ask you what’s happening. A reply of “nothing” is boring. Hope this helps some.
In my experience, introverts are people who will stay in their comfort zone when given the opportunity. And if you do that too often or too many times, your comfort zone will shrink. If you’re not comfortable leaving the country, over time you’ll stay in and rarely leave your state. Then you’ll rarely leave your county, then your city, then your neighborhood, then your house, then your living room or bedroom. And when you meet older introverts you may notice they tend to use just 1-2 rooms of their house and never go anywhere.
You have to constantly push your boundaries so your comfort zone doesn’t shrink. Do things that aren’t comfortable, just to experience them. It’s a reminder that everything will be ok if you go out more, it’ll be ok if you make new friends, or talk to more people, or invite people over to hang out. Push your own boundaries enough and you’ll become comfortable with being uncomfortable.
I’m scared of heights, and I still do my own roofing, and climb trees in my yard to put up Xmas decorations, and do rollercoasters, etc. The fear has never gone down, but I know I’ll be fine if I do it, and so I know I can do it.
What do you overthink about exactly? Give me an example as long as you wish to type
Therapy, coping skills, and pushing boundaries in a healthy manner. Break it down step by step. ID negative core beliefs and challenge them constantly. Learn to observe yourself and exit bad loops. It takes a long time but it’s worth the journey. Might take a few people along the way to help you too. If you don’t have cash, work on that if no one is there to help you. If it’s bad just getting out start taking walks or find a cafe to just get used to being around people. If you’re depressed too, take the time for self care and basics then go out. If you need some armor a good scent can help and also prime you to do things. Keep asking good questions.
What does it mean to be better? You’ll always live with fears, worries and hopes until you learn to enjoy the present moment and not be busy thinking so much about how to make things better (or thinking so much I’m general lol)
******The reason you’re not better is that you want to be better. That is the only thing that is holding you back – the idea that you are imperfect rn despite your so-perceived flaws
It may seem counter-intuitive but if you just accept yourself just the way you are, don’t compare yourself w others too much and don’t worry too much about how things will work out, you’ll live w so much more confidence, you’ll stop worrying and thinking so much about what others think, your personality will automatically get better and everything you’re worried about rn will work out
Study, listen and improve
I’d suggest reading “The happiness trap” or “The confidence gap” by Russ Harris. Both amazing reads that will help you a lot if you take on what laid out in each book.
Dude I am honestly such a weird and socially awkward person and I just hang with my bro’s until it isn’t comfortable anymore and they understand. I’m super introverted, sometimes my social batteries will last an entire afternoon, sometimes only an hour and a half. Either way when I start feeling drained I head home. I’ve always been that way.
I don’t really think you need therapy like all these other people are saying, or to “improve” even you just need to understand yourself a little better, and reflect on your anxieties to see if they are rational or not.
i think you may want to remember that your job is to be the best version of yourself as you can. The other part of that you cannot control others and the only way to reach them and keep them close is to be the best version of yourself. Keep working on being the best version of yourself. Control your anxiety and as you wonder about people at best you can look for and at signs and take them as you can.