Hi guys,
I have a sister who is a year younger than me but she was dating the guy she is with now where my dad passed away in 2019.I got into my first relationship of my life after that time but that relationship since ended when my ex broke up with me due to corona, long distance and some other things. I knew this girl before my dad passed and when I got into a relationship it felt like part of my story. My dad even knew I liked the girl. However 2 years on my dad’s death is no longer raw. A global pandemic and a war in Europe have a way of creating a clear dividing line between the world of 2019 and the one of 2022.
I don’t connect with anyone tbh, I have too high standards looks wise but it is what it is. One thing I worry about is how boring my world is. If someone enters my world they are not really going to have all the experiences of meeting my family. Even going through the journey of grief is a big part of a relationship and I’ll never experience that now if I ever do meet someone. I know that’s just how it is, my sister is the same and she deals fine but she’s more extroverted by nature and her world feels more full than mine but I do think even for her it brings its own challenges.
Would this be something people consider when getting into a relationship? Do families even feature in relationships as people get older? I just feel my world is limited and it really is a huge hole in what people tend to talk about in a relationship.
5 comments
If you feel like your world is boring, what can you do to change it? Are there any hobbies or interests you’d like to delve into? Languages you’d like to learn, or skills?
Family is what it is. It shouldn’t determine your ability to have a full, healthy relationship. My dad walked out when I was about 7, and I don’t have extended family to speak of. It’s not going to stop me from creating my own family and continuing to live a happy life. You clearly seem to miss your dad, so he was probably a good person and a strong influence on you. You probably have a lot of warm memories you could talk about..
Sounds like you need to find more friends in addition to dating. Finding friends is a lot easier than romantic partners as the bar is much lower lol.
If you have bumble you can swap it to friend finder mode. Basically you will swipe on people you want to be friends with. I found 4 friends this way. They are not super close but we play tennis and drink beer etc.
I think you are probably more interesting and deeper than other “non boring” people
Sending you a hug, man. I am distanced from my dad, but I definitely hope he is there to meet my future partner. I’m sure your dad is rooting you on and hoping you can find happiness. Your happiness is your parents’ happiness.
Hey man, I am sorry about ur situation. I can kind of relate. Last year I lost my sister in a plane crash, and a month later I lost my fiance after I found out she misappropriated our wedding fund. Today, I have genuine reservations about similar things – not having my sister as part of my future, I will never be able to share in memories with my sister and my significant other together in the same room ever again. I don’t know if there is really a right answer, but for me the memory of my sister has become a part of who I am. The emptiness gets easier over time, but she will never really leave my soul. I guess what I am trying to say, is it’s about growing bigger and not resenting what can no longer be. A big part of healing is growing as a person and accepting those things which u cannot change. But it’s important to focus on the love, not the hate, the beauty, not the ugly, and the light not the dark. There is nothing wrong with me never being able to share my sister with my significant other going forward… It sucks, but it does not define me. I can bring my sister to life through my own actions. I can live for her. I hope you find enough love in your heart to live FOR your parents. Fulfill their dreams as if they were your own, because they can become your dreams. I know my sister wanted to hike a leg of the Pacific Crest Trail and I’d love to do that one day in her honour. Live the life that they no longer have the opportunity to live. Live for them. Life goes quick. It’s too short to let it pass by without living to ur fullest.