(44M) here. Why do women, men do it too from what other women have told me. I only see women from my point of view but I’d like replies from both sides.
Why do you use filters on all or most of your photos? If your goal is to meet someone in person you should have a photo or two of yourself with the makeup if you choose. But why the heavy filters where your face is one solid color with no shading and you can barely see any curvature of your face.
I’d say more than half of the profiles I see have heavy filters.
Also why not a full body photo?
Not trying to get hate here or anything. Honestly I’m just curious. I’m sure I am swiping left on potential good matches.
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I think it depends on how you think of dating profiles. I put up every day photos of myself and didn’t use filters or pose with things/kids/pets that aren’t mine and try to give an indication of who I am in real life. I have several friends of both genders that will pose with a random cute dog, go somewhere for the express purpose of getting in a photoshoot, take pictures with expensive things they don’t own or continuously reuse a vacation photo from the one vacation they have been on in the past three years.
They all got way more matches than me haha. People tend to expect a highlight real of the best of the best you are so they can judge you on that. If you are showing everyday banal photos, they assume your life is really boring/lonely.
As for the no body shots, that could be a sign that the person is self conscious of their figure. Also, take note of the camera orientation of the photos. If they are all from exactly the same angle, this could be a self conscious issue as well.
Please note, this is my own personal musings to your questions. I am not a sociologist.
Probably because women (and people in general) are judged so much on their looks, they feel they need to do this to get a decent shot. Or they are insecure about their looks, which makes sense tbh in the social media area of photoshopped everything that we’re bombarded with. I don’t do this and I feel like my matches are a bit meh, and that every time I show up people are often visibly surprised because I look “better” in real life… it makes me think I should do some editing but I also don’t want to attract guys who are into filtered perfect people…
In terms of a full body shot, I don’t actually have that many because I’m a photographer. So I’m usually taking the photos. I have some that show my body in a way, I’ve included some (to me as a photographer) terrible mirror pics because I think guys like to know. Since their number one fear or whatever is if you’re fat. I’m guessing now that’s preferable to *no* body pic at all.
I’ve used them myself before, but only for making the background pop a little different, or for bringing out the colour in a shirt I’m wearing. I’d hate to feel like a might be potentially catfishing someone.
Someone I used to work with would filter her pictures through 5-6 different apps, before posting them on social media. There was a huge difference between the starting photo and the end result.
So different were the results, that someone she agreed to meet for a date actually started talking to her whilst waiting for ‘her’ to turn up at the prearranged time, not realising it was her.
Before social media, women used to flip through magazines and see absolutely perfect models. And they’d hate themselves for not also being perfect. But then they could be convinced that these were models and movie stars and they had teams of people to help facilitate that perfection. That “no ordinary people actually looked like that,” and then it was okay, these women could accept that it’s because they don’t have a team.
Then social media came around and it was ordinary people who looked perfect and it did things. It does things to someone’s mind when “ordinary people” look absolutely perfect and then especially on dating apps when everyone they are interested in is only interested in those perfect “ordinary people.”
They convince themselves that a little filter here and there isn’t bad and it kinda snowballs because they just want to have a chance.
They don’t do it because they think it’s fun to look that way. I think if you had a conversation with them, you’d find out there are bigger reasons that go beyond how annoying it happens to be to people like you.
If you are mainly talking to women who use filters, you are swiping on the wrong women.
But also, it means you might be proving that the filters work. If you never swipe right on an unfiltered photo, then you’ve answered your own question.
They (stupidly) believe you’ll give them a chance because of their wonderful personality even though IRL they look nothing like what their profile showed.
Because a lot of people judges heavily on physical appearance, especially in OLD, so a lot of people may feel pressured to present themselves in the best light possible by whatever means. No full-body pictures and heavy filters may mean the person isn’t confident in the way they are; but with filters I feel a lot of ladies just likes filters and think it makes a picture look nicer, while perfectly confident in how they look naturally. In any case, if you don’t like filtered photos or lack of full-body ones, just swipe no and keep it moving.
I feel you. Pictures can’t be trusted!
Bc if you don’t, you’re falling behind.
There’s a sweet spot between heavy filters and none, that get you better matches without looking like a catfish on the first date.
Think of it like steroid use in sports. You have to bc everyone else does. Some just take it too far but since Instagram, it’s rampant
It’s because semi catfishing is worth the risk to a lot of people, men and women, to get matches
As a photographer, there is a point to editing your photos to make them pop as much as possible. However, for things like OLD, there’s a balance. You want to fix your photos so that it’s not too dark, bright, etc. but not just straight up change the way you look. Filters can look great if done subtly, but it seems like a lot of people don’t realize that and just start going overboard. With full body shots, I’d imagine a lot of people aren’t happy with their bodies so they don’t want to show the parts they don’t like. Or they just don’t have a lot of photos so they take more selfies (which are most closeup)? That’s just my speculation
I don’t think everyone does it with the intention of fishing, some camera apps auto apply beauty filters to pics, so some people may only have those pics available to upload to dating apps.
I remember I took a pic with an ex and thought, I look different , turns out she replaced her regular camera app with a beauty app.
I do agree though, it can be frustrating when you meet someone and their pics are different than real life.
It’s rough out there. I try to judge it on a scale because some filters are honestly not much different than a decent makeup job, but some are literally changing the shape of their face and eyes and if you’re not paying attention you’ll miss it.
As far as no body photos. I agree. I don’t swipe unless I see one that shows their body.
1. if you are hiding in all of your photos, I assume you are both insecure and bigger. This will lead to an awkward meeting for me. I don’t want to have to readjust my perception of someone on the fly.
2. It feels deceptive to me. Just like using older photos. It’s deceptive. I won’t call it outright catfishing, but while I may or may not have been attracted to the current you. I am definitely not now because it says something about your personality that you’d do that.
Many will say that men are just looking for a size 0 or whatever, but no, we aren’t. At least ones that are looking for a relationship. But I’ve been in long term relationships and the one thing I won’t do is be with someone that is super insecure about their weight. Body positivity starts with the person who owns the body, not me.
I’d imagine it’s due to insecurity and beauty standards set by media.
That, and maybe because some people value matches/attention more than going on dates and having a relationship. It’s easy to get matches by portraying yourself as someone you’re not. Matches = dopamine hit. But I can’t imagine that this translates into healthy long-term relationships when the masks wear off.
I don’t have data to back this up though, so I’m just speculating.
It’s a (likely bad) strategy by men/women to get the date with somebody out of their league looks wise.
I’m sure the dates never work. Some of the people who do it probably complain confused about why the other person doesn’t like them for short term/long term.
Best bet is accurate pictures that reflect what you look like
I use filters because I don’t like certain things about myself
I don’t think I look insanely different without the filters it just gives me a confidence boost.
I’m assuming the reason some men and women use them on dating apps is because they’ll get more swipes if they look more attractive than a standard picture
And I’m assuming they hope if you hit it off and start to like each other then you hopefully won’t mind if they show up and don’t look exactly as a filter shows. For the most part they don’t change anyone that dramatically unless you’re also fine tuning and tweaking them with layered filters and photo shop apps
I only used filter-free photos on mine. I want someone to connect with me on the app because they liked me as-is. There’s no filter in person. I then included a couple of photos that weren’t super attractive but captured my essence better (a side-profile.. I hate my nose!, and a really excited face because I was doing something incredibly exciting in that moment.). I have a very expressive face and it feels bad when men tell me to keep it subdued.
I met someone who is perfect for me, and who thinks I’m beautiful, so I guess it worked!
I also included a (mostly) full body shot in one of my pics.
We’ll stop using the filters when men stop frowning in pictures or posing on hills