are there also any men out there who are fine with their woman not wanting to work? How does one go about being a housewife who can do 100 other beneficial things to her family in replacement of work? I really don’t want to work or have a career, and I feel like it’s gonna be difficult to find a man who’s okay with that.

46 comments
  1. I’m fine with it but if your going to stay at home your going to take care of the home.

  2. Yup, perfectly fine with it. There are still men who hold traditional views. A lot of us. We tend not to be too vocal about it though, especially on places like Reddit (for obvious reasons).

    Keep looking. You’ll find a man you’re compatible with.

  3. I feel weird calling her “my woman” for starters but that phrasing lines up well with what you’re asking

    If we can afford it on my income alone & she handles more of the housework since I’ll be understandably more tired coming home as well as she’s much happier this way

    Then I think it’s doable or at least to try out for half a year

    These days with modern feminism it’s a bit ironic there’s women actively fighting against gender roles like this

  4. If I had a salary that could pay all the bills and then some I would be ok with it as long as she helped out around the house. I absolutely wouldn’t expect her to do everything as that wouldn’t seem completely fair either.

  5. If it works out financially, I am fine with it. Taking care of kids and maintaining the home could definitely be a full time job.

    My mother was a stay at home mom. Between all of the cooking, cleaning, shopping(food, clothing, etc), kid chauffer, homework help and volunteering in the schools she probably put in more hours than my father.

    Its not easy to afford this type of lifestyle anymore but if you can make it work, it does increase the quality of life by reducing work and stress

  6. I want somebody that can cook, clean, and work. If i have the choice im definitely going with the woman that works.

    But there are definitely guys that will want the housewife staying home to raise the kids and cook and clean.

    But me? Naw, we both need to shoukder the load

  7. If we have kids and the expectations are in line, I am fine with it. I would expect the house, food, and kids to mostly be taken care of, which would take some time to do. I also wouldn’t want to hear any talk regarding a shortfall in the financial department.

    Without kids, and a steady list of stuff that needs attention, I am not going to support an adult just to support an adult.

  8. Some guys are into or are fine with just housewives. I haven’t figured it out for myself or not.

    As a housewife, your responsibilities will usually lean a lot towards keeping a clean and tidy home. Raising and being with the kids. Cooking for the family and generally keeping everyone else happy.

  9. If we had children and I was earning enough to support the family, then fine. But, if there are no children to look after, then she either works or leaves.

  10. I know more men that want this “traditional” household than don’t. Not sure what you are on about.

  11. For me that’s the only alternative to you not working. Either you work and we share chores or I work and you do all the chores (minus of course maybe more traditional man chores I’d say like car upkeep, general fixing things)

  12. My wife was a stay at home wife then stay at home mom for most of our marriage, until our kids were in full day school. Didn’t bother me at all. Really, I preferred it once we had kids. But she wasn’t ever just laying on the couch all day watching tv. Before kids, she took care of pretty much everything around the house while I was at work, after kids, she still took care of most of it, but I picked up some more house duties.

    Now, she works because she wants to, I really could not care less if she worked in or out of the house.

  13. If I’m making good money and she wanted to chase her dreams and still had goals I’d support it 100% but idk about just doing nothing all day then it would be a maybe depending on the situation

  14. I could financially afford a stay-at-home spouse but we’d have to talk about expectations… because if they’re home all day and we don’t have kids, I’d expect to be able to fire the cleaning lady and landscaper, never have to go grocery shopping or do the meal planning again, have no chores needing to get done on the weekend, and to cut our takeout bill down to just date nights.

  15. Depends on the relationship. I think it comes down to partners and pulling their weight. If someone is taking care of kids, house, yard, cars, etc and other is making money, and it is working out and both partners feel like the other is bringing something of value, great. Now if someone just wants to hang out with friends, go do yoga, brunch, and house is a mess, kids aren’t care for, and doesn’t want to work, that would not fly for me. My wife and I both have professional great jobs, and split up all the house work. So it all comes down to what do you mean you don’t want to “work”. As in not have a paid career, or don’t want to do anything.

  16. *Personally*, I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship in which the woman doesn’t work. It’s best if we combine our two main sources of income. This would be totally doable because I’m going child-free for life. If you happen to have or want kids, then it would probably be beneficial to have someone as a stay at home parent, so long as the person who is working is making enough to support the family. Being a stay at home parent can be a lot of work.

  17. In this scenario, does she also stop spending money?

    Would be fine with it if we were rich enough that it didn’t matter. Would be fine with it if her earning potential is lower than the benefits/savings she could provide by not working.

    But otherwise no, we both need to be working.

  18. I wouldnt mind. Mine transitioned into a housewife role, she prefers it and so do I. It also gave her more time to explore her hobbies like art, gardening etc.

    Edit:
    She didn’t ask, I purposed it after she quit her job because of a bad work environment.

  19. I dont mind supporting my wife because in the end I know I want to be with her no matter what. She is going to school and has a career lined up, so thats good because we will live more comfortably that way. Im not wealthy enough to give her everything I would like unfortunately, but enough to be comfortable if she were to stay at home

  20. I really don’t want to work either. I want to be a houseman… Too bad it’s socially unacceptible or even practical… Sigh…. But yeah, if I had a stable job amd a wife and she wanted to be a stay at home partner, I would be okay with it… It’s a dream role.

  21. If I made enough to support the both of us financially then I’d be fine with it.

  22. If she actually wants to be a housewife and to raise children, manage the household duties ie cooking and cleaning etc. then I respect that, I actually kind of prefer the traditional roles, especially if children are involved because I think it’s important to have at least one parent around to actually raise the kids…it also would make my life easier because she could focus on managing the house and I could focus on going out and taking on the world

  23. My wife stopped working and became a stay at home mother when our 1st was born. She has a masters degree and had a great career. But the career didn’t matter.

    It’s something we discussed. She always wanted to be a stay at home mother raising her children. I was fine with it. I would rather work 60 hours a week, which I did, then have my kids raised in day care.

    When my youngest started middle school, my wife went back to part time in her field. With the kids in school all day, she felt comfortable working 20 to 30 hours a week.

    If your future spouse doesn’t mind, your family can afford it, then do it. Just think about some type of career after the kids are in school. It helps keep your sanity.

  24. An independent woman is more interesting overall and she will choose to be with you because she WANTS to and not because she NEEDS to (or because you are financially convenient).

    So a woman who doesn’t want to work is a big NO for me.

  25. My wife is very much a SAHM by choice. Although, we both recognize that our goals don’t match with that lifestyle, so she’s currently full time employed.

    However, before she started working again, she did all the cooking, laundry, most of the cleaning, and kept our house well decorated. She really made our house a home, she was fantastic at it.

    Now that we both work full time we really divide the labor pretty evenly

  26. If you can explain how your life will be financially viable to him, are comfortable with him making all financial decisions, are willing to keep the house spotless, provide all meals to his liking and except that you will be living on a budget established by him, you’ll do fine.

  27. I’ve got a job where my woman doesn’t have to work. That makes me happy, even though I don’t have a women (currently).

  28. My wife is recently retired and has filed for disability. She is legitimately physically disabled and I’ve encouraged her for some time to leave the workforce, it only took me three years, two neurosurgeons, a general practitioner, and enlisting her mom to talk her into it. She stays busy at home, busier than she should really, and keeps me busy as well, and is considering applying for a part time position at a nearby convenience store. I’m trying to talk her out of it, she needs to be able to sit down and rest as her needs demand. She already doesn’t do that and pushes herself to physical exhaustion every day. The stubborn woman…

  29. The only way I’d be okay with that is if we had kids. I’d be perfectly happy supporting a housewife in that case. Otherwise, no judgment if she’s looking for a sugar daddy situation, but I’m not interested.

  30. “doesn’t want to work”…bitch, grow the fuck up, no one wants to work. If there are kids to take care of and if I can support us by myself then that makes sense, but if she’s just sitting on the couch doing nothing, that would be a hell no.

  31. I am ok with it if she takes care of the home and herself. Hypothetically if I come home and your ass is spread on the couch cushions eating doritos and the house is a mess? Well your butt will land in the front yard.

  32. Not something that I want, I’d like my partner to have professional goals of their own.

    But to each their own, I definitely understand why it works for some.

  33. I specifically wanted a homemaker/housewife. Found one luckily. Happily together for 18y.

  34. I wouldn’t have a problem if my future wife didn’t want to work a normal 9 to 5 job. She can be a housewife or I could have her work at my small business. The majority of women have a similar mindset to op low key.

  35. The problem is when they don’t want to housewife either, and that is pretty common. There is a difference between “I want to be a housewife” and “I don’t want to work any more”. I’m ok with a housewife if they’re holding up their end, but man will that resentment grow fast if they don’t. Really in todays society dual income is a huge advantage towards long term goals, because even if my income covers all bills that means hers is 100% fun/savings

  36. Only if it’s needed. Like if there isn’t enough work to justify a one income family, I am not fine with it. If the household chores can be done in roughly 1/4 to 1/3 of a normal work hour week, I would want her to at least get a part time job. I want to be able to save, afford vacations for the family, save for college and set my kids up for success. It all comes down to if there is enough work to make a stay at home wife viable. I’m heavily leaning towards not being fine with it, but having kids would change that. Once they are in school though, I think it’s important to be financially secure.

    A lot of men are fine with the traditional family, but everything cost so much now that you will need to find that guy whoakes enough and is fine with being the sole bread winner.

  37. Who wants to work? I mean, I’d wager the bulk of people don’t want to work, it’s just that it’s a necessity.

    Are you able to support yourself without working? If so, I don’t think men would have an issue with it. That said, the only thing that comes to mind is if you are independently wealthy.

  38. I’m conflicted…No kids and a messy house and my partner does not work currently. When we entered the relationship she understood we needed two incomes to stay afloat and she agreed she would work. Then I made more and more money while her depression got worse and worse. She got suicidal from the anxiety of having to go to work. She has been at home without work almost a year. We have enough money…but not enough for early retirement for 2 people or for me to take a lower stress lower paying job anytime soon. I’ve asked her to at least get disability to contribute something…She says she has started the process…but from what I can tell she spends her days doing art projects and giving them away. I do love her and she is trying to do more around the house…but I still feel an imbalance that annoys me. I’m looking for a therapist of my own to help process the growing resentment because if I had a choice I’d hang out with dogs all day and let someone do all the grocery shopping and cook my meals while I do whatever I want for my own mental health.

  39. That’s what me and my fiance do. I prefer it that way honestly. I like to work and I want to be the provider. She wants to be the mother/care taker. There’s plenty of men out there that like things this way.

  40. If you can find a guy who can afford to pay for the family on his own salary, it should be ok if he wants that kind of set up. However, don’t expect the relationship to be a 50/50 partnership. You want a traditional provider husband, expect to be a traditional supporting wife. AKA – he is in charge. Most modern women can’t handle this part of the deal.

  41. I’m sure there are actually lots of people who want this, but I suppose look amongst careers where people are rich and fairly traditional in lifestyle. I’d say for example business or healthcare are fairly traditional fields in terms of the types of people they attract. If you marry a teacher you won’t be able to afford this. But if you marry someone who makes 250k a year and works 70 hours a week, they’ll probably be looking for someone like you.

    Personally, I came from a conservative culture that I was not fond of, and seeing how life was for my mom I really, *really* don’t want to repeat that. It would make me uncomfortable to be the sole breadwinner.

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