Is it possible to rebuild your position in a friend circle? I’ve been feeling unwanted in my friend group. Unnoticed, getting excluded in activities. They’d make plans behind my backs, avoid me in conversations, make remarks. It started great, but now Im just losing my place. They’d ignore me when Im talking or the responses are deadpan.I wish to get my social standing back. Mostly because I don’t wanna end up a loner, but it looks like I’m on losing end of it. I have to spend the next 3 years with the same group of people as my classmates. I need help, the more I think about it the more toxic it becomes for me.
2 comments
beat one of them up
I’ve been in your position before so I know how it feels. Unfortunately, unless you are able to greatly increase your social capital (e.g. becoming much more popular, rich, attractive etc) then this is very unlikely to change. Even if your do increase your social capital, their interest in you will be superficial, so I doubt it’s worth it.
I’d suggest asking someone one on one to their face why everyone’s so off with you. Either they’ll give you a straight answer (e.g. you pissed off someone in the group, giving you a chance to apologise or whatever) or the much more likely answer is that they’ll deflect in some way by either denying it, getting uncomfortable or making fun of you. It sucks but it’s true, even more so since they sound so immature. What’s important to note is that you likely didn’t do anything wrong here, but people (especially teenagers) are immature and want to fit in more than anything, even if it means ostracising someone else for petty reasons.
I know it’s cliche advice that gets passed around on this sub a lot but really try making a new friend group, are you friends with anyone outside your group? Failing that, spend time away from your group to better yourself in some way – e.g. if your school has decent gym equipment you could spend lunchtimes there instead of sitting with your friends.
When I left my old friend group I was lonely for about a month or so so I know how it feels, but trust me when I say it gets better 🙂 good luck