I’m quite sure if this is the right subreddit to post this but I desperately need advice. I’ve been seeing a guy(25) for about 1 year. I (17) was a virgin and he broke my virginity when I was 16 and he was 24, I was previously very hyper sexual and suggestive over text but I would always make it clear that I wasn’t ready to actually do anything in real life. He had invited me to his place (this was the day he broke my virginity) and he offered me weed, I took a few pulls and so did he. He then suggested we go to his room to cuddle. I agreed but explicitly said I didn’t want to have sex and he promised not to have sex with me but when we got to his room he told me to take off my jeans to make it more comfortable for us to cuddle, I agreed. He was really high at this point but then a while later he started touching me on my kitty and he fingered me, I liked it. But then he came on top of me and began to press himself into me, I began to try push him off but he put his full body weight on me and trapped my arms to my side. I tried backing away and I cried through it all but he never stopped. He finished and looked at me crying and began to apologise and he told me he felt bad for breaking his promise and ushered me to his bathroom to pee and ‘try push out all the cum” I did as he said and he explained that he didn’t know what happened and later began to tell me he did it because he remembered me mentioning a rape kink and that’s why he did it. I continued to have sex with him for months after the events of that day and I tried my best not to mention what happened that afternoon because he said it made him feel bad. So my question is, would it be considered rape even if I eventually started to enjoy having sex with him and began initiating as well after what happened?
8 comments
yes
You’ve been raped. And he is far too old for you. Stay away from this predator! A 25 year old man has absolutely NO business being in a relationship with someone who is effectively a child. He is disgusting
And even if you did mention a rape kink……being part of a kink is one thing, but to be ACTUALLY raped is totally different. You were crying during the act. At that point he should have stopped, not that he should have had sex with you anyway, that in itself is absolutely, utterly wrong. But to continue like that? That’s completely abominable. This is literally the D E F I N I T I O N of rape!!
Please report this person
Did you really mentioned about rape kink stuff?
You didn’t want it and you made this clear but he ignored it: he raped you
Since married people can be raped by their spouse, yes. Consent is required every time.
Yes, you were raped. Enjoyment is irrelevant here since you did not give any consent to begin with. Plus, in your situation, 16 is way too young for a 25 y/o to legally do any sexual activities with. I’m not sure of the exact ages of consent here but, 16 is still way too young and 25 is way too old. He is 100% a predator and he needs to be reported and arrested. I am so sorry this happened to you.
You were raped, and he knew exactly what he was doing.
He absolutely raped you. He is absolutely a rapist.
That said, people experience all kinds of emotions, after rape, and it’s normal to feel attached to a person who you were involved in a traumatic incident with.