I’ll try to keep this short. 31/M, live by myself. I find that I spend the entire week by myself without any human contact, unless I’m at the gym. I’m more of an introvert but can definitely be social if I want. It’s hard to find time for regular “normal people” activities, plus I am 9 months sober and being around booze is really hard for me still.
I work remotely, have a very demanding 1 year old malinois, just bought a house this past year, and don’t find myself doing anything social during the week or even on weekends sometimes.
During the week I work, exercise myself, exercise dog, maintain the house etc. weekends are usually spent cleaning or doing projects around the house, maybe a dinner or bbq with a couple close friends. And before you known it Monday hits again. Round and round we go.
I don’t even have kids and I’m not seeing anyone anymore. Is this normal or is there something wrong with me? I work 40-50 hours a week so nothing insane, but I find it mind boggling how “normal” people are able to have such busy lives and not lose their shit
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I guess some of those commitments you have put on to yourself, so was there a gap you were trying to fill subconciously?
Unfortunately what you said is very common IMO. I too am on the edge of losing my **** but have been for about 6 years now, however I have the added factor of 2 children, one of which is shared custody so weekends are the only time I get him.
All I can suggest is, don’t rush to get hooked up and have kids, because then it gets even tougher (not impossible).
I have never been the sort of person who mixes my social life with my work life.
I do not hang out with work colleagues outside of work, and I work too much to have non-work friends.
Other than being married and no issues with alcohol, I’d say I find myself in the EXACT same boat. I don’t even have the gym on my side lol
Switching to full time remote work during the pandemic made me realize just how much of my social interaction came from work. I don’t necessarily miss it, but it’s definitely something I need to work on. Sadly, one of my best friends moved out of state and another is on their way to the suburbs, which might as well be the same lol
If you’re on good terms with family, I’d definitely try and make a point to talk to them regularly. Mine are all out of state so that means over the phone/FaceTime but I do think it’s helped.
I also do a bit of “social” gaming too (if you can wade through the mess of the larger Gaming Community to get there lol)
Other than that, I usually end up at one of movie/concert/sporting event when it’s just me for a night or weekend.
Seems like you look after yourself pretty well and if you’re happy and feel content with yourself, don’t worry about what’s normal. You’re just a bit of a lone wolf ain’t nothing wrong with that. Just do what makes you happy.
On the other hand if you’re wanting to form new relationships, date etc. then try and make allowances for yourself to do so.
You lucky SOB. I reading this, eating dinner by myself, anxious that my wife and two kids will be home any minute.
I love them all dearly but I’m exhausted. I’m 45 and haven’t had a moment of silence in years.
Stop bragging In front of all of us…..
There’s nothing wrong if you enjoy your life as it is. Why is that even a question? You’re living your life, not chasing a bucket list drawn up by society.
Sounds normal… Your life all depends on priorities. All that matters is whether you are happy and comfortable with how it is. If YOU DO WANT to be social, then prioritize that over something else (i.e., cleaning the house or something). However if you are seeing friends once a weekend, that’s enough socializing in my opinion :p
Congrats on the continued sobriety. It gets easier, IME.
Honestly, it seems like you have a good plate full of responsibilities, and balancing them well– house, maligator, career, gym, recovery, the occasional hangout.
Do you feel fulfilled? Overwhelmed? Underwhelmed?
I’m married, but my wife works opposite hours to me so Monday through Thursday we don’t see each other at all. We’re both working on our MS’s too, so we end up spending a lot of the weekend just doing homework. Covid really took a toll on our social life. We get a decent amount of vacation time in the summer, though and will meet people while we travel and stay in touch with them. You can stay in contact and you don’t have reject offers for dinners or whatever because you’re too busy. Then when you travel again, you meet up with them for drinks and dinner and then keep meeting new people that way. We have way more friends that live in different countries than near us that way.
Find a hobby and just start doing it. You’ll find others that like the same thing.
I know the term is commonly misused but you mean asocial.
Asocial: someone who doesn’t want to engage with society.
Antisocial – someone who is contrary to or hostile toward society.
Sounds like you may be staring at life that is going well and wondering if there should be more to it than a job, house, gym and a dog. Routine is good but most people do well with a little adventure to break up the monotony.
I’d recommend you look at things as a huge success, you’ve transitioned to a stable adult. Without ruining that stability, perhaps you can make some bigger plans / set some goals to work toward longer term.
Also you mentioned you’re sober 9 months. Congrats but that also concerns me as I know many recovering addicts that try to justify going back to those addictions because life is ‘boring’ without it. That’s just bullshit we tell ourselves. There are endless adventures in this world, places to see, things to do and people to help that don’t require alcohol/drugs