This might sound kinda woo woo but bare with me. How do you sort of untangle yourself from other peoples energy?? How do you detach from others in a healthy way and bring the energy back to you?
I’ve found myself angry at my roommate who I believe is a narcissist. He only cares about himself when I thought our friendship was more significant than it was. He missed his childhood best friends and my other roommates graduation so he could set up his AC unit.
I think it’s a bit triggering of my own narcissistic parents but I want to know how to just step back and not give a fuck.
Any thoughts?
6 comments
Firstly I’d say think about the position they hold to you in your life. Does this person’s opinion really matter and should I let it affect me? Think about where they’re coming from and why they’re saying/doing whatever it is they are. Does it have any ground or basis? Learning that at the end day their energy is solely that, if it does affect you like you mentioned maybe talk to him about it. Otherwise find consolation in the fact that he’s just a prick like most people who do shitty things are!
This is not universal, but often if you take the time to really get to know someone you find that the selfishness, backhanded insults, bragging, etc. really comes from profound insecurities and loneliness. Once you dig to that level it’s impossible to get really angry at them.
I find apathy works pretty well for this
Moving is by far the better option.
Proximity makes things difficult. For most people that aren’t sociopathic not caring is kind of impossible. Distance is probably best option. Physical avoidance works
Ask yourself whether or not this is a healthy situation that you wish to continue living in. Unfortunately the whole I want to be chill with it thing can just lead to enabling and continued abuse.
The best way to be cool with things. It’s to surround yourself with positive people that understand your value. As well as mastering the Fine Art of moving out of emotionally abusive or unfulfilling situations. The fact that your feelings are hurt does not mean something is wrong with you. It means you are a human being.
Accept that life is unfair. The sky is blue, grass is green, you cannot change people like your roommate & parents. You can’t control or influence how they act, how they treat you, or how they see you. …and then realize that their opinions are completely meaningless. They have no bearing on your value as a person, and they don’t affect the standard for how you deserve to be treated.
Focus on being the best person you can be and the things you can control. Spend your effort on people who actually care about you and who matter. The other people should be treated with a cool, distant courtesy. If they treat you disrespectfully, you have no obligation to say anything or defend yourself. There is no point in arguing with them because you’ll never change their mind and like I said above, whatever they say or do literally does not matter.